merry christmas.

while most of you assholes were sitting around being harassed or otherwise hassled by your family at a less than exciting christmas meal, i went to pete's this morning for breakfast. julie, who is usually working asked me if i wanted my regular table and after i sat she asked if i wanted my regular chicken fried steak with white gravy, over medium egg, hasbrowns, and whole wheat toast. to which i replied yes. to say pete was in rare form is to be redundant. i don't think i've ever had a breakfast from him that wasn't perfect. knowing this somehow made breakfast taste better on christmas day. best present i've gotten in years.
this also marks the 100th post on h-is-for-hungry. i found it fitting to talk about my favorite diner in provo, maybe anywhere. i hear alot of people go on about how they like to support local this and that (especially new hipster driven cafes), but somehow they've never ventured far enough out of their social scene to actually find local food. i think pete has had his place running for about 15-20 years? i could be wrong, but i don't care. the point is, all you idiots talking about how much you love to support local shit need to support pete. he's been around longer, his food is better, and he's nicer than any fucker trying to be cool ripping off wes anderson.
anyone who reads this with any sort of frequency, thanks. i'm not making money off this, just having a good time.
hope you come get food with me every now and again.

The Whopper...jr

so me and gheybin and dave benson went to burger king last night around 11 or so after it took me like 4 years to get my van out of the snow. i actually tried to drive it up that stupid hill by the temple and kept spinning out about 15 feet from the top. i had some sympathetic souls help me push etc. any way after hanging out at gheybins for a while everyone got hungry, so we went to BK and i got 2 whopper jr's a spicy chick sammich and some fries. everyone else got the garden burgers. we went to my house and then ate. i realized one thing as i ate my whopper jr's. i really like whoppers. like, i remember loving them as a kid, and now i still love them. and burger king has done a pretty damn good job keeping the flavor the same. i'm not sure if the distinct whopper flavor is in the pickle juice (which i suspect it is) or if they've some how chemically engineered that flavor. i don't care. i love it.
i'm gonna have a whopper and chocolate pudding party soon. get ready.

white elephant madness

so iwent out to bree's house tonight, all the way out in cedar fort utah. its on the way tooele. i rode with jesse charley and madalyn, jesses lil sis. we were going for a christmas party and we all had white elephant gifts in tow. i got a #10 can of chocolate pudding. anyone want some chocolate pudding?

chinese style spicy sausage pt. 2

holds up just as well with "spanish rice"

chinese style spicy sausage

remember how i said johnny gave me some of this for my birthday? well i finally busted some of it out today. i was making some pre packaged dirty rice crap and i i couldn't live with myself if i didn't have some form of sausage or other processed meat product in it so i decided, what the hey, i'll put some in. i've never had this chinese stuff before so i had no idea what i was getting myself into. best decision i've made all week. i fully endorse putting chinese style spicy sausage in crappy dirty rice mix.

possible dream job?

i'm very tempted to submit a resume for this position

thanksgiving weekend and the greatest food invention to date.

ok. so i mainly did nothing. i worked a little, but i pretty much sat around facebooking for 4 days straight, i did alot of hanging out too, and watched a bunch of riff trax movies. i went to erin's house for thanksgiving and it was delicious. i made a pecan pie and erin made the turkey and some green beans, both kickass, and madalyn made sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. both also kickass, specially the sweet potatoes. she made some sort of streusel topping for them and they were wicked tasty. erin made the green beans with some wine and other stuff and those were out of control. the turkey was supermoist and done right. after that we went to see australia. its the movie by the guy that did 3 movies i really hate. i was really worried there was going be a bunch of singing and dancing and shit, but it turns out there was a mixed aborigine kid who had puppydog eyes and made you want to cry alot. also it had nicole kidman and her strangely formed low ass and hugh jackman looking like a mel brooks version of clint eastwood.

...so today at work i was packaging the cannoli cream and afterwards i was eating the leftovers on the spatula. and i thought to myself, man, this would be good if i could like drink it. and it dawned upon me that i could, in fact, drink a cannoli if i made it into a milkshake. so i waited all day and as soon as i got off work i bought a bunch of cannoli from nick and i went to jasie and mylee's house and we made friggin cannoli milkshakes! my fellow people, its the most greatest thing i've ever put in my mouth. we crushed up the shells and spooned the cream into the blender on top of ice cream and milk. seriously, go find your favorite cannoli and do this.
its a commandment!

birthday party!

for me. was tonight. but before that i sat around all day in sweatpants facebooking. i eagerly skipped school because i have no desire to be anywhere i don't want to be or do anything i don't want to do and school is not a good place to be on your birthday. neither is work. so i got up and sat around for a while. went for a couple of walks with my buddy ned then got hungry at around 3 something so i walked to sammys and got a bacon cheeseburger. i never eat there. i really hate the vast majority of the retards who also eat there and the people who work there. its so hard to pass up that burger though. so i ate that to tie me over till we got pizza. after a few folks showed up me and mylee went over to nicolitalia and got some pizzas and a couple of cannoli (and it looks likeno one touched the cannoli! more for me!) so we ate those, and they were delicious. have i mentioned i love nicolitalia? just because i work there don't mean i can't love it. so we also had chips and such at the party. i ate some of those too. and had some coke and mtn dew at various points in the evening. then we started playing apples to apples and then we played poker and then we played blackjack then we watched brets eye surgery video then we watched krull. i love krull. then everyone left. now i'm going to bed. being 31 so far isn't too bad.

gloria's little italy

over on 3rd southin provo. me and erin went there the other night. turns out erin loves food too. she's got no problem splitting whatever she's eating with me. so i had half the caruso sandwich; eggplant and fresh moz. and half of their machiavelli sandwhich; fried chicken with a pomorola (sp? it was red and had lotsa stuff in it.) sauce and moz. super good. i kinda wished the eggplant had been grilled or fried. you get different and more interesting flavors when you fry or grill stuff. whatever, it was still good. one of the kids working there that night had on this crazy like american apparel ad outfit, you know, where the photographer is a pedophile and wants to make the models look as skeezy and teenagery as possible? anyway, so this girl was wearing something like that and it creeped me right the hell out. we got a cannoli too. wasn't as good as nicolitalia's, they put those weird candy cherries on it and it had chocolate chips in it. not a fan. go get a cannoli from nicolitalia if you want good cannoli around here. craphead margaret says they're some of the best cannoli she's ever had and she should know, she's a world traveller. so i trust her. after that we went to muse for a bit, i left, because was gonna go hang out with my friend gheybin and watch a movie. we ended up cuddling and it ruled, mainly because i love cuddling more than anything. 'cept maybe eating.

curry tofu

i went to the rice king tonight and got the curry tofu. blake donner took me there a really long time ago and thats what we'd always eat. kinda brought back some memories.

the only thing in the house

is a half bag of cheetos puffs. and i'm gonna finish them off here in about 5 minutes.


UPDATE!!!!1!!
I FOUND SOME SPICY GUACAMOLE PRINGLES!
HOLY SHIT BATMAN!
THESE ARE GOOD!

balls

so after class today me and jesse rex walked up the cafeteria to see what was doin. turns out dining services decided to get experimental on us. they had sweet and sour meatballs. we couldn't resist trying them. we also talked the server kid into giving us an extra ball. so we had 3 balls each. i'm happy to say that dining services' balls experiment was a success.

scraping

so i was hungry before the show tonight and i hadn't eaten anything in a while and i was craving a hot dog from 7-11. so i went to my room and scraped up a bunch of change and walked over to the 7-11 with erin and got a 1/4 lb hot dog. very satisfying. then i went back home and me and burnt reynolds and watered downy jr tore shit up. i'm confident our playing was superb because i had that hot dog.

been eatin alot of chicken fingers lately.

nothing else sounds good.

the hi-hat diner...

so i get up this morning to go help erin get a new chair for her apartment up in ogden and while we were looking for the place we saw this great sign that said "hi hat diner" with a cool sign that included a top hat and gloves. we were both like, woah, we're going there. so we picked up the chair from this like ebaying warehouse and drove back over to the hi-hat. pretty nondescript building except for the sign. there were some hand written signs in the window and out front there was like a trailer marquis that said "biscuits and gravy to go - $2.99". so we get inside and there was the typical schmaltzy 50's - 60's-70's rocknroll paraphernalia which is easy to ignore. so we sit down and look over the menu and decide to split a chicken fried steak and a double cheese burger. i also got a side of biscuits and with my order came some tortilla soup. the biscuits were pretty damn tasty and the soup was even better. somehow they found a way to keep the tortilla strips crunchy in the soup. worth getting. so they brought out the rest of the stuff and the burger was giant and the chicken fried steak was looking pretty good. i had to try the biscuit with some of the gravy and i was not let down. pretty damn delicious. the burger was pretty good. i wish it had been cooked a little more and the bacon was kinda odd. still tasted ok though. the best part was the chicken fried steak. their gravy is to die for. it could rival pete's chicken fried steak. so if you're up in ogden out near sunset, the hi-hat is totally worth checking out. make sure to tell them to cook your burger at least to medium unless you like undercooked burgers.

kind of an interesting day yesterday...

i got to school and i walked into my senior seminar class yesterday morning and who was there but none other than one of my older sister's old buddy from memphis tennesee, heather b. hamilton. her name is heather b. armstrong now cuz she got married and most people know her as dooce. it was kinda funny to walk in and give her a little wave and watch the years roll back and see the shock of recognition spread across her face. haha it was pretty funny. i hadn't seen her in about fifteen years. she told me i look like a man now. good to know i guess. so after class a few of us went to nicolitalia and got some pizza. they got a primavera and a chicken mushroom alfredo pizza. they're pretty good pizzas, but i would have gotten a tuscany or a margarita or chicken pesto. still good. we got to chat for a bit and catch up with promises to hang out again soon. after that me and erin flynn went up to salt lake to check out some 2nd hand furniture stores to see if we could find some cool stuff for her new apt. the first and most obvious choice was the green ant. have i said how much i love the green ant? well i do. adam's a cool guy and he's always got something even cooler in his store and doesn't rip you off. i imagine one day'll he'll be the guy i sell some stuff to. after green ant we hit a few more places near sugarhouse with no luck. i stepped in some crap somewhere along the way, then we got over to 3rd south and hit some of the antique shops there. both of us decided we were hungry and we ran into the new este pizza on 2nd south. it turned out to be like the first day they were open. it was kinda funny, its kinda like the hip and cool version of este. the one in sugarhouse is full of hardcore kids. funny contrast. i wonder if they'll open one in provo and it will be a ska version. i got 2 slices. somehow they've managed to discover a way to re-heat pizza so it doesn't taste like rubbery butt. after we finished up at este we ran into some provo kid transplants and talked to them for a bit and headed over to randys. i found some cool 45's and a couple of rad rocknroll and r+b compilations a cool earl bostic dance record and a cool everly bros lp. i only spent about 43 bux on all of it too. i feel pretty proud. its a good thing i didn't have more time and their stock wasn't better. we left and after i got home i took ned out for a walk. yup. ned is back. i got him the other night. its funny, he's pretty theraputic in the sense that i have to wake up and walk him before i go to school so i can't stay in bed all day staring at the ceiling. ned ensures i wake up in a timely fashion and he's a good cuddler. i mean, he's no woman, but for now it'll have to do. so after walking ned i went over to errin and vigors to watch the election stuff. i new obama had won, but from the time i had left and gotten to their place more electoral college results came in. obama spanked mccains wrinkled white ass, my friends, and not once did i hear the term landslide being used. there were no narrow margins in this election. someone brought some really good hummus to the party and i couldn't stop eating the pita chips and hummus. there were also some sort of vinegary chip that i kept eating. i really dug mccain and obama's speeches. finally we have a leader thats a good orator. i also ate some wafer and creme cookies that were there. pretty good.

ugh

i really need to stop eating at ihop.

gyros

i had them two days in a row at the broiler ultimate grill place in orem. i love gyros and saffron rice.

carnitas

so every now and again i get a craving for carnitas. most of the places i'v been to around here that have them usually have better stuff on the menu. like, i hear diegos has good ones, but i can't not get the shredded beef tacos. so i went to joe vera's fiestaraunt last night with mylee and jasie and i was all planning to get the burger, which i still love, but i got carnitas instead. the last time i got carnitas anywhere was at mi ranchito and i got super sick. so i was hesitant, but the ones at joe vera's fiestaraunt were pretty damn delicious and no sickness afterwards. they did put like a whole onion on them though. i should've had the foresight to ask for no onions. i spent about 20 minutes trying to scapre all the tiny diced onions off. pain in the butt, but i'll avoid that nect time. the only other problem at joe vera's fiestaraunt is that i think their prices may be a bit high for what you get. i know all the foodservice distributors have been adding fuel surcharges, but gas has gone down significantly in the past month and a half. so my question is, why haven't food prices been dropping as well? thats the main reason for the hike in pricing right? gas drops, food proices drop. come one, we've been gouged enough. this is mainly directed towards evil companies like sisco and american food distributors. my heart goes out to all the local shops gettin raped by these companies.

sorry, i've been down

and i haven't been eating much since maggot and i broke up. sad, i know. i'm gonna miss that girl. alot of people didn't understand why i was with her so long. i do and thats all that matters. memphis and tour were an exception to my dead appetite. i need to write about tour now so thats what i'm doing.
in reno we found a plce called jomboys. so good. they dust their tacos with parmeseam cheese, on the outside! so the shell is all crispy and cheesy! san francisco we ate at a little pizza place near kimo's called victors. it was ok, sauce was kinda salty, but it was brick oven and not too bad. i had some sour dough earlier in the day from boudins and me and maggot shared a little hot fudge sundae at ghiradeli square. it was our last little date thing. the next day on our way to seattle we did some gas station crap and like out of the mists of time appeared a sign for "noah's ark resturant" (winston oregon...). we couldn't resist. and man did jesus bless us on this one...like we drove up and it was this giant warehouse on the top of a hill surrounded very sparsely with animal cutouts. this was probably one of the best decisions of our lives to eat at this place. we got burgers and fries, because they were billed as "the best beef burgers you'll ever eat" and they weren't bad. the lady running the place was some crazy jesus hippie who was vegetarian and very nuts. there were like all sort of "animals" all over the place stuffed, taxidermied, plastic, and any other way you can think of an animal except real. no real ones. i felt like i was in a very animal friendly retirement home. the best was the noah's ark traveling sanctuary tour. it had nothing to do with animals because this wacko and her friends (apparently including some LDS missionaries) had built a giant life size travelling israelite temple. and you could tour it. it included the holy of holies and everything. the best things about this tour were:
1. self guided. you pushed play on various cd players scattered around the warehouse and walked around at your leisure..."you can go as fast or as slow as you want"
2. all of the "guides" were santa clauses wearing "israelite" robes and chef hats. there was even a black priest of arron as the guy who handled the burning of the sacrifces..."it sho is haaard work"
me and maggot were the only ones who went on the tour and to intensify the experience the crazy lady let us wear some "israelite robes".
we really didn't pay too much attention to the tour except for a quick look around. we were busy occupying ourselves with other things.
after that we got the hell out of dodge. if you ever go there, don't get the free lemonade. i'm pretty sure crazy lady recycles it...
after playing in a shed with a human pteradactyl we went to seattle's infamous dicks burgers. so good. i really dig that place. i got a deluxe. the next day we found a little catfish place on the corner of martin luther king drive and sherry. it was a strange mix of southern and i guess northwest? the catfish was way good and the sweet tea was out of this world. after that the food part pretty much ended except for like one of maggots chicken fingers at the twilight bar in portland and then we went to a place called sherrys outside of portland on our way out. i got the flat iron steak and the stuffed hash browns. it wasn't good and it wasn't bad. sherry's is another version of dennys. so there you go. oh and i can't remember when, but i tried a fried macaroni thing form jack in the box somewhere. they were pretty good.

oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness

arbys has fried macaroni and cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyone wanna go with me to try some?

shit. i totally forgot to update...memphis days 3-4

now i can't remember anything else that happened. but i do remember going to uncle lou's fried chicken and getting some of that. so damn good. the biscuits. the biscuits. the other highlight was the steak at my dads place. holy crap. i don't ever think i've had a steak that good. after the last show of saturday night me and joe (chicago) and cathy b, and aya and maggot went to the pancake shop where we got the giggles for some stupid reason. can't remember why either. made it home ok and kinda settle back into my normal lame routine. we go on tour next week.

memphis...day2

k. woke up this morning and the g-ma had some cantaloupe waiting. perfect. i love cantaloupe. then i went over to scott's and we hung out for a while watching tex avery cartoons. after that we drove over to cozy corner where i got the 2bone rib and a bologna sandwich. always a treat. i also got a slice of their sweet potato pie, which is always good. and to wash it all down i got some of their overly sweetened tea. glad i'm not diabetic yet. after we left cozy corner i went to the gonerfest opening ceremony for a bit to say hello to some folks then i headed out to the airport to pick up maggot, jared kidney, and dave zillionaire. we rolled back over tp goner and hung out for a bit and flipped through some records and went to heather and joe t's house to drop maggots stuff off, then went to the pizza place right next to the goner store. they got a few slices and i got some tepid tapwater from a crosseyed woman. jared spilt a beer, then we went to the artisan hotel to drop dave and jared off. then we watched the limes (who ruled), and thee oh sees (who surprsed me). me and maggot skipped dan melchoir (meh) to go get a burger at the lamplighter. always good. maggot got a grilled cheese. after that we went back and caught the crusaders of love (excellent french pop), the tear jerkers (the ultimate bar band) and the sic alps (...). wasn't so much a fan of sic alps. hate to admit it, i wanted to like them. it sounded like an eternal sound check, which, if it was, and they're a big joke on all the hipsters who were bugging out over them, then it makes me like them a little more. i doubt it though. got to see a bunch more folks and it was rad.

memphis...day1

so at about 8:00 last night i realized i hadn't had any food since 8:00 that morning. which was a bag of peanut m&m's. my mom was beggingn to see me so i drove out to the resturaunt, fat larry's BBQ and southern favorites (larry is my dad), and sat down to finally eat after my sojourn across the continent. this was also after sending a few hours at goner records grabbig as much stuff as i could before the masses picked everything over. i also realized i hadn't bought any records over the summer because i was too busy slaving away at nicolitalia. so i got to my parents place and there was a gang of bikers, neo bikers i might add, hanging out on their patio for the 6 dollar bucket of beer bad folk duo night, every wednesday folks, and i was like, mom i gotta go inside, this is gonna drive me nuts. so we went in and mom suggested i try a steak, i didn't want steak, i wanted BBQ, but a new menu item caught my eye. bayou catfish with crawfish sauce and chipotle rice...wtf? had my dad gone gourmand? not really, but i got it anyway. delicious! i was nervous about the crawqfish sauce, because i imagine it would be easy to screw a thing like that up flavor wise. nope, wrong, it was delicious. the only thing i would probably change is the rice. if they possibly had like a wild rice pilaf, or some dirty rice, or even plain old white rice, but the spanish, er, chipotle rice, didn't do the rest of the dish justice. even still it was good. if you're in memphis check it out, tell them i sent you and he'll probably give you something free. and please tip well. later that night i was at the buccaneer atching the red sneakers from japan play. got a kick out of those kids. it was half king brothers and half north mississippi allstars with some firestarter thrown in. i then proceeded outdoors while girls of the gravitron played and found someone had left a half basket of chicken fingers, which i freely partook of. thanks to whoever wasn't hungry.

i didn't actually get taco time the other night.

so i wandered over to the farmers market to grab a few of the tamales jasie's been talking about for a while. i thought it was a rpetty funny thing, his farmers market. ther was some ass selling suits, another ass selling speakers, a few more asses selling crappy jewelery and then the guy trying to hawk his shitty paintings. the produce was kind of a side show it seemed. then there were the dudes who set up their "band" trying to get cred, i guess, by having a black guy in their "band" with a bad leg. was kinda sad, the drummer was like 90 yrs old, the guitar guy looked like an accountant, there was a bongo drummer who was some kind of genx hippie/washup and they had the black dude with the bad leg turned way down and his back was to everyone else. actually now that i think about it, this scene was so strange that i have no idea how it could have been put together. i kinda want to take split reactions over one time and blow these guy out of the water, and hopefully persuade the black guy with the bad leg to play with us, and turn him all the way up. and give him a chair. then i got some tamales. holy shit they were great. i got them from the tamales 'r' us stand. i got a green pork and a red chicken. i thought i loved the salvadoran tamales, but i love these way more. why hasnt someone physically forced me to get these before? i ran into errin and vegor and we hung out and ate tamales. it was a good ole time. then i got some watered down lemonade and a bitchin blueberry turnover. then i walked home and took a nap.

taco time.

i want some. right now.
just sayin.

trying new things

i decided since i'm always eating the same places that i need to try other things on the menu, for instance, i always get the same thing at the same places:
salvadoran= loroco papusas and chicken tamale
sammys= bacon cheeseburger
7-11=hot dog and raspberry iced tea&limeade
pete's=chicken fried steak hash browns and 2 eggs over medium
india palace= chicken coconut korma
betos=texano burrito

i actually vary in my choices at nicolitalia, but its because i'm there all the time and i stick my hand in the different bins to see what i can come up with, but since i can't do this everywhere, and since the health dept probably wouldn't like customers DIY-ing all over town i kinda have to stick to menus, and since i think my choice is the best of what the menu offers i'm kinda getting bored with what i've been eating.
the caveat to all this is that the other night i was bored and depressed and i went to betos and i oredered a texano and an adobada taco. i wasn't that hungry and i didn't care if it would make me sick so i got the extra taco. man, it was delicious. i'm def gettin another one. not sure what the ingredients in the adobada marinade are, but they are super tasty. it made me wonder what else i've been missing out on. its not that i'm scared to try new stuff, but rather that i usually go to the same places becuase i know they have what i want at the moment. i need to get out of the habit of feeding into my cravings and get new stuff. so this is my new years resloution. i'm going to try new things at all my favorite haunts and expand my food horizons. with the exception of 7-11. nothing else there looks remotely good. i'm also going to start testing the water with korean food. i'm totally stupid when it comes to korean. and koreans.

oh yeah, starting monday the 8th, nicolitalia will be using a new menu, with a few new pizzas and size options. i helped invent the cocina paradiso, and it has my whole hearted stamp of approval. also try the breadsticks. they're new as of about a month ago and they're coma inducing.

last thing, i'm going to be travelling to memphis for gonerfest V from sept 24-28th so expect some posts around that time. then in october split reactions and burnt reynolds & his hot bones will hit the road touring to reno, san francisco, portland and seattle, and i'll try to keep up with what i eat and places to go while there.

and...i'll be doing food and record reviews for the UV review this semester so keep an eye out...i'll try to post links when i remember.

back to school

so school started last week, and in the hustle and bustle of dodging all the new bros here i've forgotten to write about the food. lately me and vigor and grabbo and ashley have been having lunch on mon wed and fri and so far dining services haven't shined too much. grabbo, of course, can never find enough to eat and vegor entertains us like we're children. if you ever want to hear a real storyteller, listen to vegor tell some stories, jokes or anything that requires an imaginnative narration. puns abound. for me, its the usual. if the food doesn't taste like crap, then there isn't enough of it. with the exception of the wolverine wok. like, even the chicken fingers sucked. the other day, they were the consistency of capn' crunch and filled with chicken butt. the only thing positive, in my eyes, about the food in the valley view cafeteria is the honey mustard dressing. i want to pour it in my mouth and let it run down my chin all over my body and rub it all round on my belly. then take a shower. its so sugary, i'd be a walking ant trap.

hot chocolate house

so alicia's house is called the hot chocolate house. not that they drink so much hot chocolate, but because the color of the house resembles, in large part, the color of well made hot chocolate. the hot chocolate house is about a block away from 7-11 and its a great jumping point for me to get hot dogs when i hang out with alicia and her kick ass roomates. earlier i went to the salvadoran and got some tamales, becase they're my favorite. chicken tamales. alicia and i may go fishing in the early morn and i may take my leftover tamale with me for a light snack on the river.

i'm legit

so it turns out the nice folks over at the uv review like me enough to let me waste space in their paper for record reviews and food stuff. i wonder how many 7-11 hot dog reviews i can get away with before they ask me never to write for them again?

i'm eating a calzone with chicken, bacon and peppers while i write and i just spilled some marinara on my dang shirt. so much for maintaining some degree of dignity while writing.

nicolitalia just got infamous

because of a co-worker and a blow-hard politician. we seriously had people coming in just because of it.
also, the hotdogs at wills pit stop are pretty tasty, especially if you re-cook them over a fire in the uinta national forest.
also, the fishing in the uinta national forest is awesome. definitely going back. with my kick ass new hip waders.
i think i'm going to start taking a bunch of tamales from el salvadoran when i go camping. when you get them to go, they wrap them in aliminum foil and keep pretty well. i know this becaus i bought one then waited like 5 hours to eat it. delicious. imagine if you re-cook it over coals!

bad tippers

can go to hell.

i have a love/hate relationship with sammys

their food is great, but their customers and employees are retards. except for kara, but she usually isn't working when i'm in.
also someone brought home some muffin tops and left them out. i've already eaten two. i don't know who they belong to, but until i get caught i'm going to continue to eat them.

sitting around with no shirt on

is what i do on my day off. its already 8:30 (pm) and i haven't done crap. so i stole daves computer because mine is suck. last night brimstone howl played at the compound. kicked ass. those dudes are one of my fav bands and i'm super glad about the amount of people that showed up. the band loved provo and they loved burnt reynolds and split reactions and they loved betos. i mean rancheritos. the retard who changed the name of betos to rancheritos is a moron. don't they know there's a mexican place in orem called mi rancherito? i hope those people didn't buy out betos. mi rancheritos is only mediocre. i always get sick off their carnitas and i never want to go back. betos however is worth getting sick for. maggot, austin and i took brimstone howl to the betos on state by sonic. we all ordered the texano with rice. except for austin, he got 5 roll tacos because he'd already eaten a texano earlier that day. i'm pretty sure i've sung praises to the person who invented that burrito, but i'll sing them again because i like singin. mellow not too spicy chicken with cheeese and potatoes and sour cream wrapped in that stinky tortilla? brilliant. and with their rice thrown in for good measure? genius. i'm the genius, by the way. maggot couldn't eat all of hers and was going to save it but as we were walking out she tripped over something in the parking lot and somehow her texano slipped out of the wrapper right on to the ground. she was shattered. we tried to get her to save it and cut off the parts that had touched the disgusting betos parking lot asphalt, but she, like always, decided it was too much of a hassle to save it. i don't see the hassle in trying to salvage one of the better tasting leftover meals ever. after we got back the howl crashed and i crashed then maggot crashed. then the next morning maggot came back over and we saw them off and then maggot and i went to pete's. it looked pretty busy in there today which always makes me happy. i know he'll never have the breakfast crowd of like gandolfos or whatever, but little places like pete's need to stay in business and they need the patronage of everyone interested in maintaining a local legend. i think one of these days i'll interview pete and get his whole story. i know he likes fishing. i know he's the greatest breakfast artist in the world, and i know he doesn't get much business. you know, while i'm on the subject i think its time for me to rant a little about how stupid consumers here are. pete's is the tip of the iceberg. what is it about this community that gets the biggest boner about corporate chains? or long time establishments that have no quality? take the pizza industry here, brick oven, probably the oldest, has to be the worst pizza i've ever had, yet its one of the most popular pizza joints in town. pizza factory is overpriced and isn't good either. pier 49 is barely a step above pizza factory and nina's is a total ripoff. i don't even want to get into the chain places. my loyalty lies with nicolitalia. yes, i work there, but thats why i work there. i love nick and i love what he's doing. the customers who are loyal to nick are always in. and they all know his pizza is the best in town, most people who eat at nicks usually say its the best pizza they've had in provo. i know nick doesn't advertise as well as he probably should, but wtf? he's going out of business because people are too cheap or nostalgic to buy good quality pizza. i know for a fact nicks pizza is the highest quality around. most of the food reps for the food distributors in provo have accounts with all the pizza places here and they tell us what the other resturants are using...BRICK OVEN'S CHEESE IS ONLY HALF CHEESE. the rest is cheese product. and they don't even use a friggin brick oven. nick uses a brick oven that was made in the 50's. and don't get me started on nina's. total trash. btw, nick is not asking me to write this, he would probably get pretty pissed if he knew, and if he does happen to read this i'm sure i'll get an earful. oh well. we all know i'm a fan of local resturants and i have some disdain for large chains (7-11 hotdogs aside), but come on people, keep the good places in business and let the crap ones die. the only reason brick oven is in business is because it somehow is a tradition for old people who used to go to BYU to eat there now with their sons and daughters who went to BYU and their retarded kids who go there now. is bad taste hereditary? i'm starting to think all the inbreeding here has damaged people's ability to discern good food. or anything for that matter. but since this blog is mainly for food, i will resist the urge to rant off topic. in all honesty i cannot understand the rationale for what goes on here. nicks pizza is the highest quality and the least expensive. thanks to the idiots here he's going to have to raise his prices. he's in the process of working up a new menu that is incorporating some of these increases, but he's also making new options to make it easier on his long time customers and he's hoping his new menu will be appealing to new customers. he's adding an extra large option and a few new specialty pizza choices as well as breadsticks. all these new menu items have been tried and i'm here to say i've gained a little more weight because of them. i think i've been writing way too much tonight, but be sure and exercise some good pizza judgement in the near future and come by nicolitalia. and when the new menu comes out be sure and try the "smoky joe scione". its a BBQ pizza and he named it after me. precious isn't it?

i had almost forgotten

but i went to memphis post 4th of july weekend. my big sis got married to a millionaire and i went to the wedding. it was at the graceland chapel. they had pictures of elvis in a paisley suit. pretty kick ass. i ate alot of food along the way. since i blew most of my money getting to memphis i pretty much ate at my dad's resturant in memphis, newly opened, called fat larry's. mainly because he's a fat dude that cooks a lot. and his name is larry. its mostly BBQ and heavily salted southern favorites. liver and onions etc. he brought his sweet potato fries with him from the last place and those are always a hit. i got the BBQ sampler plate, consisting of some pork shoulder, some ribs, and some brisquet. the man has perfected the brisquet. i keep telling him he needs to make his shoulder taste more like paynes, but he won't listen. white folks with a lot of money really like his BBQ so he won't mess with it. over all i'm down with it. its over and above anything else in that area of memphis or anything i can get in provo. i've said it over and over, if i want good bbq in provo i have to make it myself. supposedly big dane over at abg's knows what he's doing, but i've yet to try. we keep talking about cooking together, but who knows when either of us will have time. i also went to gus's world famous fried chicken...again...i have a tough time not going there when i'm home. i can't remember what i got, but it was like a 3 piece dark something or other. i also got the fried pickles and a slice of chess pie. if you haven't had, or heard of chess pie, make a quick trip down to memphis and grab a slice at gus's. my big sis is the only person i know who can make it better.
as for provo food i'm too poor to eat anywhere else but 7-11. and i eat their hot dogs with frequency. for a while there i could get a big gulp (my drink of choice in the summer is a mixture of 1 part limeade and 3 parts raspberry iced tea) and a hot dog for under 3 bux. mighty good deal if you ask me. i think the deal is over, but that isn't going to stop me, at least until school starts and uncle sam throws money at me for being 30 and still in college.

just thought of a new band name.

tickle fight.
if anyone uses it it has to be super gooey 60's girl pop. otherwise i'll sue.

update!

nothing has happened since last time. india palace, nicolitalia, sammy's, and beto's all still kick ass. except for the salt lake beto's. never ever go to the one on 4th south. i've been hosting a tons of shows for touring bands that no one comes to. in the last few months split reactions and other compound bands have played with:
box elders
vivian girls
duchess and the duke
the cheat
the shudders
and in a few weeks the mighty brimstone howl will be coming through town. they are by far one of my favorite bands to come through town.

oh yeah, i'm starting a record label for some of the bands that frequently play shows at the compound. expect a compilation cd here in the coming months, as well as a series of 7"s.
also i've learned to eat a hot dog and sing at the same time.

The Inhuman Eating Machine

My friend in oakland likes food more than me

still

so i'm pretty much doing the same stuff i was doing the last time i posted. my house is a little cleaner though. we've had some rad shows in the last few weeks. some local shows that went good and two touring shows:
vivian girls from brooklyn tore it up. we love them then two days later box elders from omaha played and those dudes are a blast.
nicolitalia is such a rad place to work. nick and i are close in age so i get all his old pop culture references everyone else misses, but i also have to listen to him sing paula abdul songs to me.
we're working on some new recipes in for the next menu which should be out in about 6-9 months. hope everyone decides to come by and say hello and get some pizza, especially during the day when i'm working and its super slow!

slowed down on the fishing, i went today with alicia and we caught a few, i broke my reel so i traded it back to sportsmans warehouse for a new one (i was still within 30 days of buying the broken one!) i will probably hit up provo river again tomorrow. i dunno, i'm like 30 in the hole from a stupid record distro who can't get their shit straight. and gas prices aren't helping. if anyone wants to donate to the get joey to work fund please feel free to drop by a few bucks...

update: i realized i'm a very typical bachelor.

i woke up to the sounds of norteno music and hammering and got out of bed today at like 10:00. i took a long pee. i went back to sleep and woke back up at 11:00. i made lunch plans with errin vegor and austin. we went to nicolitalia. as i waited for austin i listened to side 2 of clone defects shapes of venus lp and side one of the bad times st/lp. as i was sitting and listening i looked around my living room. there were stacks of seinfeld dvds on top of the tv, as well as daves glasses and cigarettes, dust was everywhere, my records are all out of order, dave is amassing an excellent sock collection at the end of the couch, the sleeping bag and pillows i used to stuff in the windows for soundproofing are still on my red chairs and the kitchen is a no fly zone. i keep telling myself i'm going to clean all this stuff up and austin knocked on the door: i promptly forgot all my plans for cleaning. nicolitalia was good. me and rob are going fishing later today.

employment

so i got myself a little job. its at nicolitalia. today was my first day and it was pretty good. nothing to crazy, like a lunch rush with about 10-15 orders. they got me working on a cash register, which is an all time first. then when i was leaving i got a calzone with eggplant peppers and sausage. quite delicious. i think he's going to start letting me book bands here soon...

leftover sandwich recipe ideas

so last night i had a venture brothers party and i bought some stuff for snacks while we watched. i had:
chicken fingers
pizza rolls
girl scout cookies
oranga-aide (limeade and orange juice)
pot stickers
popcorn
everything was delicious and the ventures were in rare form.
so i had some leftovers and i decided to make use of them.
i started with some dark rye bread and mayonaissed it up then i placed 4 of the leftover chicken fingers on it and sprinkled some mozzarella/provolone cheese on and drizzled some russian dressing and then grilled it. delicious.
i'm gonna keep experimenting with this one, because eventually i thin it will reach turben porportions.

so it turns out the brits are just like us

so theres this little trio of lads over there who call themselves the hipshakes. they are great dudes and the finest of musicians. regal and proper in everything they do. word has it they are masters of geography as well. i poked around in their little british heads about some food matters that could very well change your whole life.


lets say the hipshakes are wandering throuh a small out of the way english village and bruce stumbles upon an out of the way diner? what is the most likely of these choices and why:
a. daniel and andrew shake their heads and scoff at the idea
b. everyone gets very excited, because bruce just picked another winner
c.bruce goes in by himself and never returns

Well first of all it would in all likelihood be an olde englishe pub, not a diner. Now that is clarified, here's what would happen: we'd all go in, eat some nice food, maybe wash it down with a pint of bitter, have a good old chat, then when it's time to pay, Bruce would go very quiet and look sheepish, then we'd have to pay for his food as he is a lazy bum with no money.

on average how many english muffins does andrew consume in one weeks worth of time?

He prefers to be "in muff" more than eat muffins.

at tea time, do the hipshakes buck the venerable tradition and get totally drunk? please explain

At tea time we drink tea, if it was winter it would be possible to drop a little whiskey in to warm our bones, but you can't get drunk off a little whiskey.

when in america do the hipshakes long for scones? why?

Yes, for the simple reason you cannot get them there. But how is it pronounced? SK-oh-Ns, or SK-o-ns. Long sounding "o" or short?

if the hipshakes were to plan an entire world tour around food how would the tour look?

Podgy. Actually, the last tour was planned around food, and how Bruce couldn't afford any.

one day daniel arrives at the hipshakes command center bearing an abandoned box of canned process cheese product. one corner of the box is leaking and a scratching sound can be heard within. what are the likely reactions of andrew and bruce?

Bruce would take it to add to our fridge contents of mushrooms, parmesan cheese, gin, bitter lemon, giant bowl of jelly (jello, of course).

THANKS GUYS!

hopefully this clears up any questions anyone has about every single british person on earth.
heres their myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/thehipshakes
now go buy their records so they do another american tour.

yard sale...

so me and maggot are having a yard sale today. i'm outside on maggots front porch typing this. no one is really buying my stuff. maggot has made about 30 so far. we started at 9. i got hungry around 9:45 and finally decided to go to mcdonalds at about 10:15. its the first time i've been awake and free early enough to get some. i got the bacon egg and cheese iscuit thingy with a hash brown and a coke. they had no oj. how lame is that? i hope someone buy some of my crap.

legal woes update

so i went to court today. they offered me a plea in abeyance. i took it. got $300 fine and 12 months court probation. i'm hungry and i gots no food. some one gimme a pizza

man its been like weeks since i posted last. here's a few updates:
math sucks
the got the churros at del taco on lock right now. i had one last night and it ruled.
went to este a few times and it ruled
split reactions played to a semi interested crowd last night at ABG's.
the quesadilla burger at applebees is pretty damn tasty, a bit salty, but i can deal.
i just realized theres been a chick-fil-a at the mall for like 5 years and i've somehow never seen it.
i also realized theres a decent philly styled steak sandwich place at the mall that isn't too bad.
i have made a few philly cheese steaks for myself lately. pretty good i must say.
split reactions havent recorded yet.
zapata burgers still rule.
i have a new idea for the blog which i'll be implementing herei the next few days and weeks.
i decided that most of the bands i like really like food too, so i'm going to interview them about their favorite foods.
ta ta for now, eat up!

more bad decisions

i keep telling myself i'm going to eat better. i never get around to it though. its much easier to like eat a giant burrito than have to think about and plan a meal i cook for myself. like the other day, maggot and i were going to make some cheeseburgers and we got to the store and i changed my mind and we went to joe vera's for a zapata burger. what the hell is wrong with me

patronage

it shall be known henceforth, i officially and unequivocally withdraw my patronage of bombay house in provo. once a glorious standard of indian food in this dump, now reduced to snippy servers and incompetent cooks. last night was a horrible experience in dining that will never voluntarily be repeated. the servers don't even know the dishes they serve and the ones they do get right taste all wrong. and when you ask a server to take food back that is sub standard it is yanked away with an attitude. i will not support such an establishment that rides the coat tails of previous owners who worked extremely hard to create a pleasant dining environment, good quality food, and superb staffing and customer service with servers who are short with customers and cooks who cannot cook. i will however support the india palace on center street in provo. the old wait staff and cook staff of the bombay house have seemingly been transported there. the owners genuinely appreciate the business you bring to them. you are recognized and acknowledged as a a beneficial part of their business and their food is excellent. plus they have a lunch buffet.

I GUESS I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

i ate some papa johns spinach alfredo pizza that maggot and cassie got tonight. wasn't too bad. also, buy my crap on ebay.

quality control

i'm kinda getting bored with this blog. i'll probably only update from here on out when i eat something excellent or something happens that is worthy of note. like, today, we're going to record with cade thalman. and last night i made the tortellini stuff again, and i put too much red wine vinegar in it. today was less than exciting.

the legend of maggot

so it snowed yesterday and i felt that jesus didn't want me to drive in the snow so i didn't go to church. instead i watched back to the future part 3. then i went to maggots and had a giant bowl of frosted mini big bites. very tasty. maggot had made a freschetta pizza and i kept alternating bites of frosted mini and combo pizza. it made for a few less than delectable burps. i don't recommend it. for some reason all i wanted to do yesterday was eat. i mean i like to eat every day, but something about sundays makes me eat tons of unnecessary food. like a big bowl of the very last of the jambalaya, and a few rolls that cassie made, and a giant bowl of sage sausage and tortellini with marinara. the tortellini really was the kicker. i really should have saved some for lunch. maggot was playing legend of zelda all day so i was kinda bored, and i guess when i'm left to my own devices i just eat. oh well.

baby back to the future

so yesterday i woke up and for some reason i wanted to be really constructive and get alot of things done. iwrote some lyrics that i don't hate and i played guitar and me and dave and lex walked to the pawn shop and bill harris music, finding nothing. i needed new strings and i have to get a new pickguard for my mosrite. after we got back i was playing around with the ultra bassman maggot has and me and dave realized the tubes suck on it. maggot finally woke up and came over and we went to van wagenens looking for tubes and strings. since only sells behringer crap we went to best in music, which inexplicably is the worst. on our way back frm that fruitless fiasco we stopped at diegos and i got 2 shredded beef tacos and a medio litro coke. delicious. diegos is super good. i probably have mentioned this before. after diegos we went to smiths where i got stuff to make ribs. it was a nice day and i had some extra cash so i figured what the hell. i made a rub and got the smoker going, breaking my usual rule of not using lighter fluid. i can taste lighter fluid but most everyone else can't, and the wind wasn't really helping keeping the fire going without it. me and maggot played cards for a while and then we put on back to the future. easily christopher lloyds greatest role. i made some bbq beans and we got some potato salad to go along with the beans, and we kinda dicked around for a few hours waiting for the ribs to finish and when they were finally done rob came over and we all had some. i had 2 racks to go around so everyone got heir fill. i thought they were too salty, but everyone else seemed to like them. i need to make them again and do it right. while we were eating we put the 2nd back to the future in and watched it. definitely not as good as the first or third.

the problem with chinese

its hit and miss. like i went to uvsc's chinese food place and sometimes i dig it and sometimes i don't. like every now and again he orange chicken is great, but most of the time its like all hard. i think if i go earlier in the day its better. yesterday i had orange chicken and sweet/sour pork. with the fried rice. i had mountain dew. i hate uvsc for not selling coke products. although cherry pepsi ain't too bad. so i went to work and did my work thing then went home and me and maggot jammed for a while and worked on some stuff. maggot was on drums. afterwards we went by maggots house and parked her car and went to cades studio to check it out. he had been working on the drums to try and get the sound on the big star #1 record. me and maggot played around on some of his stuff and he recorded it and we played it back and it sounded great. i don't know if we're going to record it at my house or his studio. i kinda think rob will freak out on someone elses drums. plus the room at my house has a bigger sound. i think i just made my mind up. after we messed around at cades we walked to the crest (cades studio is like a block or so from maggots place) and i got a coke and a cheese danish. on our walk back to maggots we found an abandoned little caesars 5 buck pizza and a bag of bread sticks. maggot tried to convince me that the bag of breadsticks were ok to take, but i noticed little animal bites in the pizza. there's no way i'm risking getting some funky ass disease from a bag of abandoned breadsticks. besides, i had leftover jambalaya to finish off. little caesars ain't got nothin on my jambalaya. once again, i was faced with the dilemma of having 2 bowls. i resisted because i knew i had a cheese danish waiting. i probably shouldn't have eaten that, but i did and i was fine with the consequences. we decided to go see a movie since i hadn't seen one in a while. we were going to go see the eye at the cheap theater but tere was a lame crowd waiing in line and i didn't want to wait with them, so we opted for a worse movie at the mall. 10,000 bc is one giant cliche. thats pretty much all i have to say about it.

jambalaya

is very good. i made some last night with maggots help. yesterday was a pretty boring day at school and i went to work and kinda left early. i went home made a grilled corned beef sandwich and played around with some songs i've been working on. then i took a nap, which wasn't very fruitful because maggot kept texting me and waking me up. i did get a few minutes of shuteye. for some reason after i took this nap i was super hyper. when maggot showed up to practice at around four i was bouncing off the walls. everyone else showed up and we played around for a bit. cade thalman came by to check out my house because he's looking for a new places to record his bands. we also talked about him recording split reactions and then we started talking about what it would sound like and i was like, i really like the way big star's first album sounds, and i said do you know who that is, and he was like yeah, thats one of the best sounding records ever. i love recording geeks. so we talked about music and pretention in provo a bit more then he had to leave and i went back to practice. we worked on some new stuff and messed around for a while. all in all it was a great practice. i love when we just goof off for a while. its really productive for me, plus it helps us play together better. i wish people weren't so busy that we could do that more often. after practice me and maggot went to her house and started the jambalaya. jambalaya is easily one of my favorite foods. heres what i usually put in my jambalaya:
2 chicken breasts
1/2 polish sausage
1/2 sage breakfast sausage
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 large can of kidney beans
1 regular can of black beans (half rinsed)
1 onion
3 cloves of garlic
3 bay leaves
1/3 cup of red wine vinegar
1 small handful of rosemary (which i crush)
1 small handfull of mexican basil
a few dashes of chili powder
a few dashes of cayenne
a few dashes of greek seasoning
a few dashes of salt
a few dashes of garlic powder
i sautee all the vegetables, and brown the meats. when i brown the breakfast sausage i pour some red wine vinegar in and cook it with that in it.
i let it simmer for a few hours (i don't wanna hear it, i like it that way) then eat it over rice after it gets thick.
delicious. delicious. delicious.
i usually get sick when i make this because i can't stop at one bowl. me and maggot ate our jambalaya while watching strangers with candy. excellent programming, if i may say so. then maggot took me home and we played with daves cat, kingsley. shes a nice cat. i hope she doesn't scratch the shit out of my vintage swedish mod lowboy chairs.

i'll ask brother pig

so tonight at the dada cinema we watched the flowers of st.francis. pretty damn good film. i can't recount how many times i've gone back and forth over the idea of living a monkish life. i'm not a monk and my religion doesn't require i forsake all i have (with the exception of my serving an LDS mission) but so many times that type of life is so very appealing. especially since i could care less about making money. all i really need is a guitar and books and food. i'd be quite content wandering. and like jules whitfield and kane and yojimbo, and lorenzo lamas, i'd particiate in any adventure that came my way. as long as i had something tasty to eat at the end. like after my adventures in skipping british lit today, i ended it with a bacon cheeseburger at the cafeteria. it wasn't that bad. they're making their burgers a bit thicker lately and i like it. their bacon is still < though. at work i did the same ole because thats how we roll. but i did study for my math test for a bit. i worked on memorizing some of the stupid word problem formulas. after i felt confident i could remember what i was supposed to do i went back to goofing off at work. on my way out to the testing center (its situated on the big island in hawaii) i stopped off and got a nascar beef stick and a vanilla frappuchino. i was feeling a bit peckish and i figgered that combo would do the trick. it did. i took the test and i feel pretty confident about my efforts. as of now i have a 76.9 in my math class. everyone cross your fingers that i can pass this class. as soon as i was done i walked ak to main campus and watched the flowers of st.francis. when it was over torben gave me a ride hoe then me and maggot went to smiths and i got:
1 loaf of potato bread
1/2 gallon of green top milk
1 box of big bite mini wheats
1 freschetta frozen pepperoni
i'm gonna be making tons of turbens. just you wait. so now im leaing maggots and the turbens will begin

sewer rat may taste like punkin pie, but i would never know

thats one of my favorite lines from pulp fiction. me and maggot watched pulp fiction and ate chips and salsa and drank mexican coke. earlier though, we went to las tarascas and i got a quesadilla with steak. it was ok. they need to learn how to season their steak. i had to salt it up and put some of their green salsa on it. before we went to las tarascas me and maggot attacked my house because i thought this kid was going to come look at it because lex is moving out. when i say attack, i mean clean. it was pretty disgusting. i'm usually never there so i don't pay much attention. but geez. it was pretty gross. while we cleaned i ate the remainders of my este pepperoni pizza. i think i'm gonna start spending more time at my house and like cleaning more because dave and lex don't. maggot came and got me from work, because work was dead as usual and i wasn't missed.
we pretty much were sitting around making jokes and throwing rubber band balls around the office and getting on each others nerves. i drew out a plan for alex caldieros luchadora mask. i haven't told him about my plan to make a band with him called master goomba and the dreaded gombu. so far its going to be a cover band. here are some of the songs i'd like to cover:
commanche
run through the jungle
the tequila song
constipation blues

i think that would be a good start and if i can get alex involved i'm sure it would devolve into some crazy orgy of noise and destruction. which is fine.

ESSSSSSSSSSTE!!!!!!!

this post will be dedicated to how much i love este pizza. last summer they had a fire in the kitchen and had to close down temporarily. last night was the first time i've been back since they re-opened! so good. so so good. better than i remember. i got a pepperoni and maggot got the veggie lasagna. it was so good it gave me the internal dib dabs of the blowhole. but i'm not complaining because their pizza is SO GOOD. SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD. EAT IT UP. i also had some shitty chinese food at uvsc. it kinda doesn't count because it sucked. on the plus side, the guy working had good customer service skills. that was a first.

i jumped the transcontinental railroad to protest the absence of any photograph of the chinese laborers at the golden spike monument

so maggot and i decided to take a day trip up to the spiral jetty. i had never seen it before and neither had maggot. so we hopped in the coop and rolled out. we were both pretty hungry and wanted to eat at este pizza in salt lake, but those assholes decided to be closed. so we went to curry in a hurry. i have to admit, it was a let down. i usually really like their food, but today it was really spicy and pretty bland. there was a latino woman working when there areusually indians or pakistanis there. i think she may have been the culprit. all the food we got was watery and super spicy with no other real flavor. lame. i'm gonna give that place one more try. we headed up north to find the jetty. to get there you have to pass salt lake, ogden, brigham city, and then turn off at a little town called corinne. then you have to drive like a million miles into nowhere, past the golden spike monument and onto 34761457862487620876 miles of gravel road, all the while dodging point rocks and cows. lets just say those box elder county class-d roads weren't maintained with a mini cooper in mind. we finally made our way there and picked through the lava field down to the shore of the great slut lake and onto the jetty. its great to see a totally useless piece of environmental art. i'm being serious. it took a lot of work to get that thing there. i'm not sure if machines were used or if each stone was carried by smithson and his wife, but it was a pain in the ass for me to get there. whats interesting to me is the constant flux the piece goes through. it isn't a static piece of gallery art, like a painting. the spiral jetty i saw today will be a different spiral jetty next time i happen to go see it. and whats more, my experience of the piece is completely irrelevant to the piece itself. there will be a point in time when the jetty becomes a giant spiral salt lick for deer. then it may turn back in to a jetty. or jesus will make all the polar ice caps melt and it will become a nesting spot for fish to lay eggs. after we were done taking photos (see maggots blog for the photos) we started the trek back. we stopped at a broken down dodge and found a duchamp readymade out in a field then spotted a horse carcass and became one with it. we then stopped at the golden spike monument. that place pisses me right the hell off. fuck utah, and fuck the united states of america. there isn't a single mention of the chinese laborers in any of the photos placed outside near the railroad. the only thing mentioning the chinese laborers is a plaque made in honor of the workers by a group of chinese american citizens in san francisco over 100 years later. in a strange way, frank chin is right. the chinese laborers only get the recognition they deserve in their dreams. i spit on the golden spike monument. it represents a total flattening of history of the most racist kind, and we're all more than happy to ignore it. after we got back into civilization, we realized we were hungry again. nothing was open. so we stopped at betos. bad choice. don't go to the one on fourth south in salt lake. they screwed up my texano. maggots bean'n'cheese wasn't that good either. bums. we finally got home without much problem except for some jerkoff trucker who was weaving in and out of traffic on i-15. he kept riding up on people. when he did it to maggot she tapped her brakes (like you're supposed to do when someone tailgates you) and he flashed his brights at her. what a dick. i turned around and gave him the bird, at which point he flashed his lights again and i nodded, to let him know that i knew that he knew that i knew he was a pedophile.

double right handed

so i rolled out of bed at around 11:00 today and did nothing til about 1:30. then i did some math homework then i went ona walk, then i ate the rest of a bag of salt and pepper kettle chips. then me and lex and dave and rob played black jack and pokers for about and hour or so then maggot came over. we went to the mall and hung out for a bit then she dropped me off and i went to vegor and errins for vegor mania 32. we watched vegors 5 disc collection of wrestle mania for his 32nd birthday. and ate costco pizza. i was skeptical about the costco pizza because i'd had it in the past and the pizza was kinda sauceless. this time at vegor mania, however, it was pretty saucy. i dug it. we also drank mtn dew. the beer drinkers had pabst and some homebrew bob brought. alex caldiero was there and was totally getting into and we told him we were going to make him a luchadora mask with a hole for his beard. he thought it was a winning idea. i think the mask should have a white background with green explosions around the eyes and red flames coming from the mouth, thus incorporating all the colors of the italian flag. imma get to work on it asap. after the main even with hulk hogan and mr. t. and mr. wonderful and rowdy roddy piper ( with the hulkster prevailing, of course) everyone left and i went to maggots house and we played friday the 13th on nintendo then watched trent harris' plan 10 from outer space.

blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah muffin, blah blah blah, naked juice, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah math blah blah blah math lab, blah blah blah blah blah blah stupid math, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah work, blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rode the bus, blah bah blah blah blah grocery store, blah blah jambalaya, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah lex's new pork sandwich that i named the lexico blah salt and pepper kettle chips blah blah blah blah blah blah blah maggots house, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah cassie's birthday, blah bah blah blah tres leches cake, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah jendar's house,blah blah blah blah blah blah blah pina colada, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah maggots house, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

i'm getting lazier by the second

i almost didn't make a post for yesterday. but i am. and i'm fighting all my procrastinative instincts to write this post. so its gonna be short. because nothing happened yesterday. i can't remember yesterday morning so i'll skip to afternoon. i was at work. then i went home. i ate about a half bag of tortilla chips and medium salsa. they were leftover form the show the other night. when i came home my appetite was whetted by robs smoker. its getting to be that time of year again where we can cook outside. i had to see what rob was cooking so i looked in the smoker. there was nothing but a perfectly stacked trapezoidal formation of charcoal. if my life depended on it i don't think i would have the patience to do what rob did with those charcoal. he was going to cook some chicken he had been marinating. after a while i checked again and the chicken was almost done, and so i walked in robs. lex and blythe and rob were all there getting rady to eat. they asked me if i wanted some. duh. of course i did. and will. blythe made some cakes made of brown rice, pecans and goat cheese. very delicious. the chicken was great. rob marinated it in lime and soy sauce and worchestershire and liquid smoke. i'll not publicly harass rob for his deliberate and disregardant use of liquid smoke at this time. we decided it was nice enough to eat outside so lex took a table and some chairs outside in our parking lot and we ate outside. good times for all. i gave everyone a mexican coke as my contribution. after we cut up outside for a while i went over to keriannes for a "luau". i saw a few people, talked to a few people, waited for alicia, then left. i'm not a provo social gathering-er. i usually only know one or two people at the gatherings and really could care less about everyone else. after that i went to maggots for a second because i had to take back some movies, and i grabbed my corned beef and turkey, because i've kinda been fiending for one lately. and i don't like hanging out with her folks who are still in town. they make me all self conscious. so i took my stuff to my house. rob and blythe and lex were hanging out when i walked in watching what they thought was the season finale of the apprentice. it wasn't, so we all watched king of kong: a fistfull of quarters. it was a hit. it pissed everyone off within like 10 minutes. haha. billy mitchell can woof on a wang. and so can his lackeys. after the film, me and lex started playing cards. tons of fun. then i went to bed.

he's a spitter, sir

so i had court again yesterday. like usual, i woke up too early and had lots of time to kill. i showered, shaved, and got ready. i decided i did not want to wear a suit. i didn't eat anything before i went in. i probably should have, but it turned out ok. the typical cast of orem 4th district court were present and accounted for and even a cameo appearance by one of the more depraved sort were in attendance, so the events of the day gave me enough energy to sustain myself til i could get some food. so i walk in and sit down and there was this guy wearing some sort of netted contraption on his head in the holding box. it had like a cloth thing around the bottom covering his mouth. i wondered if it was because he was sick. well i didn't think much about it other than he just looked kinda crazy. which was fine. i dig the crazies. there were the normal dui, unpaid fines, reviews and pre-trial stuff. there was one kid who got busted smoking weed in a park out of an apple core. the judge gave him shit about smoking weed in one of the most conspicuous places possible. and i concur. this ain't a big place. cops don't really have much to do here. and most citizens are more than happy to call them. why do you think they call it dope, dope. well the crazy guy with the face thing got called up and the judge asked if he had a health problem, to which the prosecutor nonchalantly called out, "no sir, he's a spitter", to which the judge responded with some incredulity; "a spitter? you spit on people? why do you spit on people? who did you spit on", and the prosecutor, the acme of nonchalance, responded, "um, a transportation officer and one of the officers here, sir", and the judge says "ok i'm not going to talk to you until you can learn how to not spit on people, so we're going to hold you for another day to see if you can get that thing off your head" to which mr.crazy responded, "i don't do that anymore judge", and the nonchalant proseutor fired back, "he spit on someone today, sir" and the judge, in his wisdom, says, "ok, take him out" and mr.crazy, of course is trying to convince the judge in the worst way that he does not spit at people anymore and that he doesn't do that sort of thing, and the judge keeps saying the court will hold him for as long as we need to, by this time the guy is up to two days in the hole and makes it out of the courtroom door into the holding cell where everyone gets to hear him shoot a few fuck yous and assholes at the cops and the judge, to which the judge replies "or, five days". i got a pretty good laugh out of it. i think the judge and the prosecutor thought it was funny too, ecause when the judge caught me laughing, he didn't say anthing. this was about the 4th or 5th time i've been busted laughing by the judge in court, and i guess if he had a problem with it he would have said something. i guess he was happy to have an audience, because i kept noticing him glancing at me anytime he said something sarcastic in court. like am i the only person who is entertained by court proceedings? anyway, i was the last person to go and i got a continuance, and after wards i stuck around a sec to ask the pub defender a question and before i could get his attention the judge went off record and the lawyers and the judge started talking about the crazy guy. i tried my hardest to not pay attention to what they were saying, but my mothers side of the family has taught me better. i think when you're privy to certain information its perfectly acceptable to be a fly on the wall and act like you have no idea you're privy. it turns out mr.crazy had decided to start throwing shit at the cops. like turds. out of his butt. and hit one of the cops in the face. it took everything i had not to pitch my head back and laugh at the top of my lungs, but i succeeded. i made a face that looked as if i was surprised any one in the criminal system would ever do such a thing. so after wards i went to school and got some lunch. by this time i was starving. i got a crappy chicken broccoli casserole thing and a salad at the cafeteria. along with a cherry 7-up. i love cherry 7-up. god bless the inventors of cherry flavored syrup. so i went to class and we talked about the dadas and their approach to technology. pretty cool discussion. then i went to work and played a game called ballon invasion for 3 hours straight. i then left work and got a sub sandwich that was soggy and lame. i did have some sour cream and cheddar chips though. can't lose with those. i was pretty beat from the the show the night before and it was only about 5:45 so i got a vanilla frappuchino to wake me up. didn't work. i wasted some more time online before i went to the dada cinema where we watched a few episodes of the 3 stooges. one of my favorite tv shows ever. i doubt there is an episode i haven't seen. i used to watch it daily when i was a kid and teenager. i'm glad alex showed these. i'm gonna start watching again. i went home and sat on the couch and watched tv and hung out with dave and lex for a bit then went to bed.

this is what happens when i skip a day.

i don't post til like 4:30 the next day and i forget everything. i think for breakfast i had my regular muffin and nakee juice then math then i went to work for a bit and sat around for a while. then grabbo and i got lunch. ok, its all coming back to me now. so i go upstairs to the valley view cafeteria. i see they have a spaghetti thing. and i think, yo, i'm not that hungry so i'll get that. so the goofball kid behind the counter gets like no spaghetti in the tongs and puts it on the bowl and starts to put sauce on it, and i say, woah, hey, thats it? and he looked at me like he was confused and i said, thats all you're going to give me for like $3.50? he was like, yeah, thats one portion, and i say thats bullshit, and thats a ripoff. and he looked even more confused than before so i went downstairs to the crappy mexican place and i got a giant enchilada with a giant scoop of beans and rice with lots of sauce and lots of cheese for like 5 bucks. i really hate uvsc dining services. i wouldn't mind paying $3.50 for a bowl of pasghetti that was made from quality ingredients but the pasta was dried out and the sauce came from a damn can. AND ITS CAFETERIA FOOD. good hell. it bothers me most that dining services is trying to turn a profit off students, most of whom, at uvsc anyway, are broke to begin with. its a commuter school for heavens sake. most people are married and have kids. most people are "non-traditional" students. most people don't have their parents paying for everything. the hell you guys. stop jacking us. this was the conversation grabbo and i had this conversation over lunch. after lunch i pretty much just went home and sat around till practice (we hadn't practiced since before rob left and i was having visions of a horribly botched set), and practice went cool then i hung out with maggot for a sec (her folks is in town) then took a little nap. i decided i needed to get some food for the bands so i walked to smiths since i couldn't drive. and i couldn't have gotten the van out if i had tried because the assholes working on the stucco monster next door had a giant truck blocking off our entire parking lot. thanks guys. so i got:
2 red baron classic crust pepperoni pizzas
1 red baron classic crust 4 cheese pizza
1 bag of white corn tortilla chips
1 jar of pace picante medium salsa
after i got back i kicked it for a bit more then got the place set up for the show and people started showing up. it was pretty uneventful, til the bands showed up. then things got rolling and the show went on without a hitch. with the exception of me burning all the pizzas. only one was inedible though. shame, it was one of the pepperonis. so both the touring bands ruled, jareds band, the kidneys ruled, and we ruled too. i do, however need to invest in a guitar tuner. and i broke the input jack on the mosrite again. thats gonna bug me forever. i need to get a replacement and leave the battle scars as they are and stop trying to keep fixing it. oh well. after the show i had a slice of the edible pizza and hung out with the bands (unnatural helpers and the fallouts) then went to bed.

huff.

so i'm finally back on a regular eating routine again. well, more regular than 6 mexican cokes a day and monte cristo sandwiches at crappy casinos. i had a bran muffin this morning and a naked juice for breakfast, then for lunch i had a semi healthy roast beef sandwich at the humanities luncheon (plus some veggies with ranch dressing, and one chocolate chip cookie). oh and they had some lemonade there that i was digging. after class and work i got home and decided to clean a bit since we're having a show at the house tomorrow and it was kinda smelly in the house. that was good to do. i listened to that new(ish) television double lp while i was cleaning. tom verlaine really likes his guitar. i can't take the extended live solos. but whatever, i got the house cleaned up some and went to meet randall and alicia because we were going to go to that really crappy mexi-fashion store called genx. i needed some cheap plain t-shirts to make my animal encounters shirts. that place is a virtual whats what of the clothes no one should wear, but do, and do it willingly and proudly. i don't get it. i saw a suit with leather on it. on the shoulders. dyed green. we left there and went next door to macy's because randall wanted to get a kong cone. he had to harass the deli counter skanks to make it to is liking: like a foot tall, 1/3 in a cup 1/3 free standing and 1/3 in a cone. all held together by deli counter skank love. that sounds dirtier than it should. all the while i was waiting for one of the skanks to figure out how to thinly slice peppered turkey and corned beef. its amazing how easy technology is when you understand the tools you're given. set the slicer at the lowest setting, and thats thinly sliced. 1/4 inch is not thinly sliced. opacity is an indicator of thinly sliced meat. finally we got out of there and i went to maggots to start working on the shirts. randall couldn't finish the kong cone so he gave me the cup and alicia the cone. somehow he managed to eat the middle out. after i finished with the shirts i made another turben. i had the heels of the bread left. i thought it was going to ruin the sandwich, but it didn't. it actually made a really good crusty crust. soaked in butter. with my belly full of turben and mexican coke i was reay to surf then net til i was too bored to think.

lazy sunday

wasn't much different that any other day this week. maggots folks came into town so i pretty much hung out at my house. i did some laundry and i played guitar a bit. i didn't eat anything til about 3:30 when austin and i went to maggots an i made a couple of turbens. we hung out and austin played tetris then we watched that documentary on donkey kong called "king of kong: a fist full of quarters". it was so great. i love how billy mitchell is such a dick. actually i hate it. so he can play arcade games. big whoop. i can take a dump. and whats even more pathetic than billy mitchell are all the nutslaps who worship him and revere him. i totally think the steve dude is a much more interesting person. plus he doesn't look like lorenzo lamas. while we watched the film, i drank a ginger ale. i decided canada dry burps better than any other drink i've ever had. after the filnm was iver i went back to my house and me and dave played music for a bit. we kinda goofed around with some hill country blues and then i started playing some surf stuff. diamond head is probably my favorite to play. after about 2 hours of messing around cassie called me because she had, yet again, locked her keys in her car. so me and dave went over to maggots to grab cassie and we took her to borders where she works and where her car was. after we got back i watched tv for a while then maggot called and was back down in provo. we watched the donkey kong film again and ordered a dominoes brooklyn style pizza. it was pretty good. i always forget about dominoes when i go to order pizza. i dunno why. it isn't bad for how cheap it is.

last day of spring break eve

i decided since i hadn't gotten a damn thing done all weekend that i should probably get some constructive chores accomplished. here's what i didn't do that i should have:
cleaned my house
changed the oil in the van
put new spark plugs in the van
done some homework
saved money
laundry

i did, however:
clean some parts of my room
practice for a bit
take the bench seat out of the van

i didn't really have anything for breakfast, although at around 11 i ate a few strudel bites with a tiny glass of oj. that kept me cool til about 2:00 at which point lex and i walked over to joe veras. i made him get the zapata burger. he dug it. i also got a zapata burger. and a cheese crisp. i'm in love with that place. i really need to get some of their mexican food. after finishing off the burger we left and i went to gheybens house to hang out for a bit and we pretty much just played catchup and then ihad to go to practice. once i got there it was just me and maggot so we decided to start a new band with maggot on guitar and me on drums. it was pretty good. maggot can write cool stuff when she gets in a groove. she's just shy and a little self conscious at first. once we got rollin it was great. after practice we hug out at my house for a bit thn we went to smiths to grab stuff for dinner. we got:
2 ribeye steaks
1 tub of sour cream
2 potatoes
1 salad mix
1 bottle of caesar dressing
1 bottle of real bacon bits
1 bag of medium cheddar cheese
we then went to maggots and cooked the steaks and the taters and ate til we couldn't then watched oceans 13 that we rented from hollywood. the girl at the desk who checked us out at hollywood sounded like a man. she wasn't sick. she sounded like dr.girlfriend. i've never encountered a woman who had a voice like that. i almost asked her if she was a tranny.

recovery

today was pretty uneventful. like we woke up at around 10:30 so we could checkout on time and everyone gave me some gas money which i promptly blew at a blackjack table. i didn't actually blow all of it, i just blew 20 of it. what a pisser that was. i can't wait for my gub-ment rebate check...we thought about going to the rainbow inn buffet but since it was past breakfast (wtf, what if we were truckers? don't they need breakfast 24hrs a day?) they closed the buffet down. so we opted for danishes and arbys. for breakfast i had:
1 cheese danish
1 arbys roast beef sandwhich
1bottle of water
after the danish, that roast beef hit the spot. we went out to the bonneville salt flats and maggot took a few pictures of everyone. super good time. after goofing off there for a bit we hit the road. man i love road trips. and this one was pretty rad. people reading, people playing cards, people napping, people talking. i love the van. like 6 people was perfect for this trip. and the people that came were just the right sort. after we rove into provo we dropped everyone off at jesse and charleys and then went to my house to unload. i had to drop off some ebay stuff that was about 2weeks late to be shipped. i hope i don't get negative feedback. pfft. ebay sucks now. if i get negative feedback, as a seller, it goes away in like a year. B.S. anyway, so i grabbed the bag of gardettos and headed off to maggots. we pretty much sat around all day. and i snacked on gardettos. i started working on some upcoming shows i want to do. like in june the box elders are coming through. super stoked about that one. liz (who rules) from boomchick hooked us up with that. also i talked to rich crook from lover(and lost sounds, and knaughty knights, and the reatards) about setting something up for the lover/black and whites west coast tour. thats gonna be one of the funnest shows ever...if it pans out. everyone please cross your fingers. so margaret got hungry, and i can usually always eat, so we went to las tarascas. the waiter guy knows us now. it rules. i think if we keep going on a regular basis we're going to start getting hooked up. this time i got sopitos. super good. maggot got a gordita and a plate of their beans and rice again, i highly recommend their beans and rice. i would never admit to making a mistake at las tarascas, but i probably should have waited a bit longer before i ate. lets just say that the chorizo burned me twice. once i cooled down me and maggot started playing nintendo and i suck at super mario3. maggot decided she wanted some cookies and cream ice cream so she punched a package of oreos and then dumped them into a bowl of ice cream and mixed it together. twas pretty good.

spring break...woooo!!!

so last night at jesses house we (maggot me jesse charley austin and ricky) decided to go to wendover. thats where i am right now. what a skeezy place. i love it. i gambled away about 60 bucks. i lost 40 at the black jack table and about 5 at slots, so i guess i got 15 left over. still. at one point i was up 40 at blackjack but then we got a new dealer and she took everyone. lame. so after i got up i had to get the va ready to go, and that meant putting the seats back in. and cleaning it out. which i did grudgingly. we didn't actually leave town til about 6:30. but maggot and i went to sams and got some snacks for the road. we got:
1 case of mexican coke (still made with cane sugar)
1 thing of baker eddie's cheese danishes
1 bag of gardettos snack mix
while we were at sams i also got:
2 slices of pizza
one raspberry sweet tea and lemonade
and maggot got:
1 diet coke
when we got back to maggots we kinda had to wait for everyone to get ready. no prob. i snacked on a few more streudel bites.
once we got on the road i had about a handful or so of the gardettos and one mexican coke.
i love my van. like everyone fit comfortably and like everyone was having a good time. ricky started telling confused patient stories from his being a nurse which were hilarious and austin was being austin and jesse was goofing on austin being austin. once we got to wendover, we got some rooms and headed down to the casino. thats where i lost all my money. its ok. its pretty much the best 40+ dollars i've wasted. i hope people buy the animal encounter shirts i made.that should make up for it. i put a link of the images in my bands etc section to your left there. check tham out. if you like what you see let me know and i'll be happy to make you a shirt. before we actually started playing cards, we got some food. people of earth, i had a monte crist. i'mpretty sure the quality of the ingredients were of the lowest sort, but damn, that was a tasty sandwich. i'm gonna add it to my favorite sandwiches list. its easily in the top 10. after my blackjack debacle me and rick and maggot hit some of the slots. i played the penny slots. it wasn't so bad. i felt like it was a cheap video game that i was convinced i'd never get my money back from. oh well. time to get to the motel room where i know austin and charley are duking it out over the bosconian game they brought.

turben

yes i'm spelling it right. because tis the name i've given to the most delicious sandwich ever. i decided to go ahead and combine my two favorite sandwiches into one colossal appetite satiant. i used the potato bread and the turkey and provolone mixed with the corned beef, sauerkraut, russian dressing and grey poupon and in a taste test 3 out of 3 loved it. its more than 110% because i love it too! maggot caeup with the name because i was going to call it the rubkey. she said it sounded dirty. and yes, turben does have a nice ring to it. and i had like 3 of them today. along with a few ginger ales and some blueberry streudel bites i got at the store the other day. i wandered around provo putting up some flyers for the show, which no one will come to, only to realize there is a glaring typo. i usually call my house the compound, but on the flyer i spelled it comound. oh well. it doesn't matter since no one cares. after that i went to help emma look at a car she was thinking about buying. i'm glad i went. i think it had been in about 4 big wrecks and the guy who had done the body work sucked because i think instead of paint he used an orange peel. also none of the body panels lined up and the two front quarter panels stuck up about a half inch over the hood. you may not know what this means, but i do. and it sucks if you're looking to buy a car off someone. especially when they tell you with no hesitation that the car has never been in a wreck. also the air conditioner was missing. we made our way back over to my house and lex was hoe and i started trying to takeout the back bench seat in the rocket ship. this may be a two day ordeal. i have to use a sawzall to cut the clamps off the seat because the bolts are rusted tight. wd-40 aint got a thing on this van. after running the battery dry on the saw i went to jesse's to watch jesse and ricky watch the jazz game. i don't like sports, i just like sports fans. ricky was getting really worked up so i mived across the room. i was having flashbacks of my dad throwing things (including, but not limited to: the cat, the newspaper, cans of dr.pepper, o'douls, me, chairs, books, and anything he could get his meaty paws on) while watching university of memphis b-ball games. my mom would always try to get me to watch games with him because she thought it would make me like him more. but it usually only served as a reminder of how much time i didn't want to spend with him. ricky promised me he wouldn't punch me, just the couch or the floor. so after the game charley made some brownies and put neopolitan ice cream on it. i think i've said it once, but i'll say it again: brownies with ice cream is the lords gift to human kind. eternal life ain't got nothin on brownies and ice cream. around this time we decided to watch no country for old men. such a great film. i love the cohens, and i love cormac mccarthy. he's one of my favorite writers ever. and the cohens did such a great job on that film. before we watched it i had to go make a turben because i was fiending. i made everyone who woud volunteer take a bite. thats how i got the above statistic on the turben taste test. after the movie we sat around and discussed plans to go to wendover nev. yeah, i know. but its spring break and i got nothin better to do.

m is for mean

and m stands for maggot. because she punches and slaps me continually. for no DAMN reason. and she's looking over my shoulder. watching me. i tried experimenting with the reuben again. i decided to make a bacon reuben. it was mediocre. i know. bacon usually enhances any food it is used with. somehow it didn't mix well with the sauerkraut. but at least i tried it and thats what counts. now i can tell everyone else that trying to make a reuben with bacon isn't the best idea. i bet it would taste good with turkey, but as the solo meat it didn't pan out. so after that i washed it down with ginger ale and a hand full of wheat thins. then i watched some more venture brothers. and fell asleep on maggots couch. for like 4 hours. then i got up because her couch sucks when two people try to sleep on it. so i snuck into her room and fell asleep in her bed for a couple of hours. i woke up with a headache. i blame it squarely on the bacon reuben. after being groggy for like an hour we went to old navy. i bought a shirt there that was too small and i needed to exhange it. it was like 3 bux. after we went to old navy we went to smiths and i got:
1/2 lb of corned beef
1/2 lb of hickory smokedpepperedturkey
1/2 lb of provolone cheese
1/2 gallon of breyers natural vanilla ice cream
now i can make normal reubens again. crap. i just realized i forgot to buy rye bread. anyway, we went to joe veras and me and maggot split a zapata burger and a cheese crisp. so good. i wasn't really even hungry (again, squarely blamed on the bacon reuben) but that burger is so good i can't resist eating one. or 1/2 of one. we went back to maggots and watched 28 weeks later. so maggot is pressuring me to finish. fine. post done. geez.

combo!

so i woke up late, no thanks to william willett, and i roped maggot into taking me to school by bribing her with Einsteins bagels, but we took too long at Einsteins so i missed math. i've really sucked about going to math lately. i went to the computer lab and fooled around then went to the cafeteria and got a salad. yup. i put lettuce and spinach and hard boiled egg, and chicken chunks and kidney beans, and cheese and ranch dressing. missing math all came back to me as i walked down the hall after the dada class and i ran into my little phillipina math teacher and she had to give me crap about missing class but i redirected the conversation towards something i had been reading about. longanisa. its a phillipino sausage thats supposed to be sweet. she told me where to find it and how to cook it, then told me she was going to make me cook it at her house when i learned how. i'm kinda scared of her. after that i went to work. errin was in a meeting the whole time so i was pretty bored. maggot came to pick me up and we went to las tarascas. i got the carne asada burrito and it was pretty damn good. i ate too much which sucked because me and maggot were supposed to go play tennis. yup. tennis. we actually ended up playing a few hours later after letting the food digest. we both sucked. after we played tennis we sat around for a while then went to smiths and i found some rad mexican confection that i knew jesse would dig on. when we got back to maggots i decided to experiment. i made a turkey reuben. i don't usually condone this type of thing but it turned out so very good. i usually don't put mayo on my reuben but i kinda mixed the turkey melt with the reuben so necessity dictated i put mayo on it. it turned out great. maggot got upset because i wasn't talking to her when i was eating it. i really couldn't talk because it was that good. we then watched more venture brothers. i was going to try to eat some dessert, but i'm too full. i'll do that in the morning.

i feel like i just did this

oh wait. i did. so for some reason i wasn't hungry when i woke up at noon. probably because i ate an entire frozen pizza. it was a red baron classic crust pepperoni. i can't remember if i've gone over my criteria for pizza. here it goes:
thick crust pizzas: suck
fake deep dish: suck
red baron classic crust: pretty good
most any thin crust pizza: not too bad
smokehouse bbq+pizza: hit and miss
este pizza in SLC (RIP): badass
the pizza that maggot threw out of the van in new york while we were on on tour in a fit of rage(RIP): pretty damn good
costco pizza: meh
papajohns: so so (better when it cools off)
little caesars: i can't bash it. it saved me a few times
dominoes: hit or miss
pizza hut: i'd rather eat at arby's
that place we ate in chicago the morning after the 2006 blackout: a-friggin-mazing.
red baron deep dish singles: pretty good little filler
nicolitalia provo: pretty damn good (if you can take enormous amounts of garlic)
so i got ready went to church went to maggots and got super hungry. maggot had no food at her house but goat cheese and i was wanting a sandwich. so we went to the store and i grabbed a half LB of hickory smoked peppered turkey and a 1/4 LB of provolone for a turkey melt, and another red baron classic crust for later (which i'm about to pre-heat the over for). after i made the turkey melt me and maggot watched the beginning of darjeeling LTD and ate, then we watched more venture brothers. i'm really addicted to that show. venture bros misquote of the day:
hank: "dean i know you're sad about dad being gone and all, but you're no wartime consigliere"
the venture watching went on for a few hours then maggot wanted something to drink so we made our way over to the 7-11. i talked maggot into pulling me on my skateboard most of the way there. regardless of what she says, its hard work staying balanced on crappy unmaintained provo sidewalks when someone is pulling you on a skateboard. when we got to the sev i wandered around on my skateboard in the store til i decided to also get a drink. i got limeade. and drank it on the way back. and i skated back unaided by maggot. then i proceeded to waste a couple of hours online. if you'll notice in my links section, i posted the bradx bible cooking show. watch it. bradx was in last sons of krypton, one of the greatest bands in the last 15 years. for some reason he got saved and has now decided to tell people about jesus while he makes breakfast.
k. pizza is in the oven.
i'm listening to this soul comp DJ bazooka joe put up on divshare and i love it. i'm so completely ignorant to so much R+B and soul stuff. i'm glad people like BJ are out there digging this stuff up and sharing it with people. the RIAA can suck my balls. most of this stuff gets forgotten by all but a handful of people in the world (by handful i mean thousands out of billions) and without them, the average person will never know it existed. for my part, i've just started looking for more groups and labels i can get into. i seem to like alot of the southern stuff, go figure, but it sounds alot more funky and gritty. its sad that now to play this kinda music is kitschy and people don't take it seriously. i see soul music as one of the more important cultural transitions in black culture. without soul american music would be pretty boring, but more importantly it was a venue for the black voice in popular culture that could not be ignored. just as hip hop cannot be ignored. and just like funk could not be ignored. anyway, give those songs a listen. they're all pretty badass. pizza's almost ready.