me and the food around me. i like to eat, so listen up.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

he's a spitter, sir

so i had court again yesterday. like usual, i woke up too early and had lots of time to kill. i showered, shaved, and got ready. i decided i did not want to wear a suit. i didn't eat anything before i went in. i probably should have, but it turned out ok. the typical cast of orem 4th district court were present and accounted for and even a cameo appearance by one of the more depraved sort were in attendance, so the events of the day gave me enough energy to sustain myself til i could get some food. so i walk in and sit down and there was this guy wearing some sort of netted contraption on his head in the holding box. it had like a cloth thing around the bottom covering his mouth. i wondered if it was because he was sick. well i didn't think much about it other than he just looked kinda crazy. which was fine. i dig the crazies. there were the normal dui, unpaid fines, reviews and pre-trial stuff. there was one kid who got busted smoking weed in a park out of an apple core. the judge gave him shit about smoking weed in one of the most conspicuous places possible. and i concur. this ain't a big place. cops don't really have much to do here. and most citizens are more than happy to call them. why do you think they call it dope, dope. well the crazy guy with the face thing got called up and the judge asked if he had a health problem, to which the prosecutor nonchalantly called out, "no sir, he's a spitter", to which the judge responded with some incredulity; "a spitter? you spit on people? why do you spit on people? who did you spit on", and the prosecutor, the acme of nonchalance, responded, "um, a transportation officer and one of the officers here, sir", and the judge says "ok i'm not going to talk to you until you can learn how to not spit on people, so we're going to hold you for another day to see if you can get that thing off your head" to which mr.crazy responded, "i don't do that anymore judge", and the nonchalant proseutor fired back, "he spit on someone today, sir" and the judge, in his wisdom, says, "ok, take him out" and mr.crazy, of course is trying to convince the judge in the worst way that he does not spit at people anymore and that he doesn't do that sort of thing, and the judge keeps saying the court will hold him for as long as we need to, by this time the guy is up to two days in the hole and makes it out of the courtroom door into the holding cell where everyone gets to hear him shoot a few fuck yous and assholes at the cops and the judge, to which the judge replies "or, five days". i got a pretty good laugh out of it. i think the judge and the prosecutor thought it was funny too, ecause when the judge caught me laughing, he didn't say anthing. this was about the 4th or 5th time i've been busted laughing by the judge in court, and i guess if he had a problem with it he would have said something. i guess he was happy to have an audience, because i kept noticing him glancing at me anytime he said something sarcastic in court. like am i the only person who is entertained by court proceedings? anyway, i was the last person to go and i got a continuance, and after wards i stuck around a sec to ask the pub defender a question and before i could get his attention the judge went off record and the lawyers and the judge started talking about the crazy guy. i tried my hardest to not pay attention to what they were saying, but my mothers side of the family has taught me better. i think when you're privy to certain information its perfectly acceptable to be a fly on the wall and act like you have no idea you're privy. it turns out mr.crazy had decided to start throwing shit at the cops. like turds. out of his butt. and hit one of the cops in the face. it took everything i had not to pitch my head back and laugh at the top of my lungs, but i succeeded. i made a face that looked as if i was surprised any one in the criminal system would ever do such a thing. so after wards i went to school and got some lunch. by this time i was starving. i got a crappy chicken broccoli casserole thing and a salad at the cafeteria. along with a cherry 7-up. i love cherry 7-up. god bless the inventors of cherry flavored syrup. so i went to class and we talked about the dadas and their approach to technology. pretty cool discussion. then i went to work and played a game called ballon invasion for 3 hours straight. i then left work and got a sub sandwich that was soggy and lame. i did have some sour cream and cheddar chips though. can't lose with those. i was pretty beat from the the show the night before and it was only about 5:45 so i got a vanilla frappuchino to wake me up. didn't work. i wasted some more time online before i went to the dada cinema where we watched a few episodes of the 3 stooges. one of my favorite tv shows ever. i doubt there is an episode i haven't seen. i used to watch it daily when i was a kid and teenager. i'm glad alex showed these. i'm gonna start watching again. i went home and sat on the couch and watched tv and hung out with dave and lex for a bit then went to bed.

No comments: