me and the food around me. i like to eat, so listen up.

Monday, March 31, 2008

the legend of maggot

so it snowed yesterday and i felt that jesus didn't want me to drive in the snow so i didn't go to church. instead i watched back to the future part 3. then i went to maggots and had a giant bowl of frosted mini big bites. very tasty. maggot had made a freschetta pizza and i kept alternating bites of frosted mini and combo pizza. it made for a few less than delectable burps. i don't recommend it. for some reason all i wanted to do yesterday was eat. i mean i like to eat every day, but something about sundays makes me eat tons of unnecessary food. like a big bowl of the very last of the jambalaya, and a few rolls that cassie made, and a giant bowl of sage sausage and tortellini with marinara. the tortellini really was the kicker. i really should have saved some for lunch. maggot was playing legend of zelda all day so i was kinda bored, and i guess when i'm left to my own devices i just eat. oh well.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

baby back to the future

so yesterday i woke up and for some reason i wanted to be really constructive and get alot of things done. iwrote some lyrics that i don't hate and i played guitar and me and dave and lex walked to the pawn shop and bill harris music, finding nothing. i needed new strings and i have to get a new pickguard for my mosrite. after we got back i was playing around with the ultra bassman maggot has and me and dave realized the tubes suck on it. maggot finally woke up and came over and we went to van wagenens looking for tubes and strings. since only sells behringer crap we went to best in music, which inexplicably is the worst. on our way back frm that fruitless fiasco we stopped at diegos and i got 2 shredded beef tacos and a medio litro coke. delicious. diegos is super good. i probably have mentioned this before. after diegos we went to smiths where i got stuff to make ribs. it was a nice day and i had some extra cash so i figured what the hell. i made a rub and got the smoker going, breaking my usual rule of not using lighter fluid. i can taste lighter fluid but most everyone else can't, and the wind wasn't really helping keeping the fire going without it. me and maggot played cards for a while and then we put on back to the future. easily christopher lloyds greatest role. i made some bbq beans and we got some potato salad to go along with the beans, and we kinda dicked around for a few hours waiting for the ribs to finish and when they were finally done rob came over and we all had some. i had 2 racks to go around so everyone got heir fill. i thought they were too salty, but everyone else seemed to like them. i need to make them again and do it right. while we were eating we put the 2nd back to the future in and watched it. definitely not as good as the first or third.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

the problem with chinese

its hit and miss. like i went to uvsc's chinese food place and sometimes i dig it and sometimes i don't. like every now and again he orange chicken is great, but most of the time its like all hard. i think if i go earlier in the day its better. yesterday i had orange chicken and sweet/sour pork. with the fried rice. i had mountain dew. i hate uvsc for not selling coke products. although cherry pepsi ain't too bad. so i went to work and did my work thing then went home and me and maggot jammed for a while and worked on some stuff. maggot was on drums. afterwards we went by maggots house and parked her car and went to cades studio to check it out. he had been working on the drums to try and get the sound on the big star #1 record. me and maggot played around on some of his stuff and he recorded it and we played it back and it sounded great. i don't know if we're going to record it at my house or his studio. i kinda think rob will freak out on someone elses drums. plus the room at my house has a bigger sound. i think i just made my mind up. after we messed around at cades we walked to the crest (cades studio is like a block or so from maggots place) and i got a coke and a cheese danish. on our walk back to maggots we found an abandoned little caesars 5 buck pizza and a bag of bread sticks. maggot tried to convince me that the bag of breadsticks were ok to take, but i noticed little animal bites in the pizza. there's no way i'm risking getting some funky ass disease from a bag of abandoned breadsticks. besides, i had leftover jambalaya to finish off. little caesars ain't got nothin on my jambalaya. once again, i was faced with the dilemma of having 2 bowls. i resisted because i knew i had a cheese danish waiting. i probably shouldn't have eaten that, but i did and i was fine with the consequences. we decided to go see a movie since i hadn't seen one in a while. we were going to go see the eye at the cheap theater but tere was a lame crowd waiing in line and i didn't want to wait with them, so we opted for a worse movie at the mall. 10,000 bc is one giant cliche. thats pretty much all i have to say about it.

Friday, March 28, 2008


is very good. i made some last night with maggots help. yesterday was a pretty boring day at school and i went to work and kinda left early. i went home made a grilled corned beef sandwich and played around with some songs i've been working on. then i took a nap, which wasn't very fruitful because maggot kept texting me and waking me up. i did get a few minutes of shuteye. for some reason after i took this nap i was super hyper. when maggot showed up to practice at around four i was bouncing off the walls. everyone else showed up and we played around for a bit. cade thalman came by to check out my house because he's looking for a new places to record his bands. we also talked about him recording split reactions and then we started talking about what it would sound like and i was like, i really like the way big star's first album sounds, and i said do you know who that is, and he was like yeah, thats one of the best sounding records ever. i love recording geeks. so we talked about music and pretention in provo a bit more then he had to leave and i went back to practice. we worked on some new stuff and messed around for a while. all in all it was a great practice. i love when we just goof off for a while. its really productive for me, plus it helps us play together better. i wish people weren't so busy that we could do that more often. after practice me and maggot went to her house and started the jambalaya. jambalaya is easily one of my favorite foods. heres what i usually put in my jambalaya:
2 chicken breasts
1/2 polish sausage
1/2 sage breakfast sausage
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 large can of kidney beans
1 regular can of black beans (half rinsed)
1 onion
3 cloves of garlic
3 bay leaves
1/3 cup of red wine vinegar
1 small handful of rosemary (which i crush)
1 small handfull of mexican basil
a few dashes of chili powder
a few dashes of cayenne
a few dashes of greek seasoning
a few dashes of salt
a few dashes of garlic powder
i sautee all the vegetables, and brown the meats. when i brown the breakfast sausage i pour some red wine vinegar in and cook it with that in it.
i let it simmer for a few hours (i don't wanna hear it, i like it that way) then eat it over rice after it gets thick.
delicious. delicious. delicious.
i usually get sick when i make this because i can't stop at one bowl. me and maggot ate our jambalaya while watching strangers with candy. excellent programming, if i may say so. then maggot took me home and we played with daves cat, kingsley. shes a nice cat. i hope she doesn't scratch the shit out of my vintage swedish mod lowboy chairs.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

i'll ask brother pig

so tonight at the dada cinema we watched the flowers of st.francis. pretty damn good film. i can't recount how many times i've gone back and forth over the idea of living a monkish life. i'm not a monk and my religion doesn't require i forsake all i have (with the exception of my serving an LDS mission) but so many times that type of life is so very appealing. especially since i could care less about making money. all i really need is a guitar and books and food. i'd be quite content wandering. and like jules whitfield and kane and yojimbo, and lorenzo lamas, i'd particiate in any adventure that came my way. as long as i had something tasty to eat at the end. like after my adventures in skipping british lit today, i ended it with a bacon cheeseburger at the cafeteria. it wasn't that bad. they're making their burgers a bit thicker lately and i like it. their bacon is still < though. at work i did the same ole because thats how we roll. but i did study for my math test for a bit. i worked on memorizing some of the stupid word problem formulas. after i felt confident i could remember what i was supposed to do i went back to goofing off at work. on my way out to the testing center (its situated on the big island in hawaii) i stopped off and got a nascar beef stick and a vanilla frappuchino. i was feeling a bit peckish and i figgered that combo would do the trick. it did. i took the test and i feel pretty confident about my efforts. as of now i have a 76.9 in my math class. everyone cross your fingers that i can pass this class. as soon as i was done i walked ak to main campus and watched the flowers of st.francis. when it was over torben gave me a ride hoe then me and maggot went to smiths and i got:
1 loaf of potato bread
1/2 gallon of green top milk
1 box of big bite mini wheats
1 freschetta frozen pepperoni
i'm gonna be making tons of turbens. just you wait. so now im leaing maggots and the turbens will begin

sewer rat may taste like punkin pie, but i would never know

thats one of my favorite lines from pulp fiction. me and maggot watched pulp fiction and ate chips and salsa and drank mexican coke. earlier though, we went to las tarascas and i got a quesadilla with steak. it was ok. they need to learn how to season their steak. i had to salt it up and put some of their green salsa on it. before we went to las tarascas me and maggot attacked my house because i thought this kid was going to come look at it because lex is moving out. when i say attack, i mean clean. it was pretty disgusting. i'm usually never there so i don't pay much attention. but geez. it was pretty gross. while we cleaned i ate the remainders of my este pepperoni pizza. i think i'm gonna start spending more time at my house and like cleaning more because dave and lex don't. maggot came and got me from work, because work was dead as usual and i wasn't missed.
we pretty much were sitting around making jokes and throwing rubber band balls around the office and getting on each others nerves. i drew out a plan for alex caldieros luchadora mask. i haven't told him about my plan to make a band with him called master goomba and the dreaded gombu. so far its going to be a cover band. here are some of the songs i'd like to cover:
run through the jungle
the tequila song
constipation blues

i think that would be a good start and if i can get alex involved i'm sure it would devolve into some crazy orgy of noise and destruction. which is fine.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


this post will be dedicated to how much i love este pizza. last summer they had a fire in the kitchen and had to close down temporarily. last night was the first time i've been back since they re-opened! so good. so so good. better than i remember. i got a pepperoni and maggot got the veggie lasagna. it was so good it gave me the internal dib dabs of the blowhole. but i'm not complaining because their pizza is SO GOOD. SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD. EAT IT UP. i also had some shitty chinese food at uvsc. it kinda doesn't count because it sucked. on the plus side, the guy working had good customer service skills. that was a first.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

i jumped the transcontinental railroad to protest the absence of any photograph of the chinese laborers at the golden spike monument

so maggot and i decided to take a day trip up to the spiral jetty. i had never seen it before and neither had maggot. so we hopped in the coop and rolled out. we were both pretty hungry and wanted to eat at este pizza in salt lake, but those assholes decided to be closed. so we went to curry in a hurry. i have to admit, it was a let down. i usually really like their food, but today it was really spicy and pretty bland. there was a latino woman working when there areusually indians or pakistanis there. i think she may have been the culprit. all the food we got was watery and super spicy with no other real flavor. lame. i'm gonna give that place one more try. we headed up north to find the jetty. to get there you have to pass salt lake, ogden, brigham city, and then turn off at a little town called corinne. then you have to drive like a million miles into nowhere, past the golden spike monument and onto 34761457862487620876 miles of gravel road, all the while dodging point rocks and cows. lets just say those box elder county class-d roads weren't maintained with a mini cooper in mind. we finally made our way there and picked through the lava field down to the shore of the great slut lake and onto the jetty. its great to see a totally useless piece of environmental art. i'm being serious. it took a lot of work to get that thing there. i'm not sure if machines were used or if each stone was carried by smithson and his wife, but it was a pain in the ass for me to get there. whats interesting to me is the constant flux the piece goes through. it isn't a static piece of gallery art, like a painting. the spiral jetty i saw today will be a different spiral jetty next time i happen to go see it. and whats more, my experience of the piece is completely irrelevant to the piece itself. there will be a point in time when the jetty becomes a giant spiral salt lick for deer. then it may turn back in to a jetty. or jesus will make all the polar ice caps melt and it will become a nesting spot for fish to lay eggs. after we were done taking photos (see maggots blog for the photos) we started the trek back. we stopped at a broken down dodge and found a duchamp readymade out in a field then spotted a horse carcass and became one with it. we then stopped at the golden spike monument. that place pisses me right the hell off. fuck utah, and fuck the united states of america. there isn't a single mention of the chinese laborers in any of the photos placed outside near the railroad. the only thing mentioning the chinese laborers is a plaque made in honor of the workers by a group of chinese american citizens in san francisco over 100 years later. in a strange way, frank chin is right. the chinese laborers only get the recognition they deserve in their dreams. i spit on the golden spike monument. it represents a total flattening of history of the most racist kind, and we're all more than happy to ignore it. after we got back into civilization, we realized we were hungry again. nothing was open. so we stopped at betos. bad choice. don't go to the one on fourth south in salt lake. they screwed up my texano. maggots bean'n'cheese wasn't that good either. bums. we finally got home without much problem except for some jerkoff trucker who was weaving in and out of traffic on i-15. he kept riding up on people. when he did it to maggot she tapped her brakes (like you're supposed to do when someone tailgates you) and he flashed his brights at her. what a dick. i turned around and gave him the bird, at which point he flashed his lights again and i nodded, to let him know that i knew that he knew that i knew he was a pedophile.

double right handed

so i rolled out of bed at around 11:00 today and did nothing til about 1:30. then i did some math homework then i went ona walk, then i ate the rest of a bag of salt and pepper kettle chips. then me and lex and dave and rob played black jack and pokers for about and hour or so then maggot came over. we went to the mall and hung out for a bit then she dropped me off and i went to vegor and errins for vegor mania 32. we watched vegors 5 disc collection of wrestle mania for his 32nd birthday. and ate costco pizza. i was skeptical about the costco pizza because i'd had it in the past and the pizza was kinda sauceless. this time at vegor mania, however, it was pretty saucy. i dug it. we also drank mtn dew. the beer drinkers had pabst and some homebrew bob brought. alex caldiero was there and was totally getting into and we told him we were going to make him a luchadora mask with a hole for his beard. he thought it was a winning idea. i think the mask should have a white background with green explosions around the eyes and red flames coming from the mouth, thus incorporating all the colors of the italian flag. imma get to work on it asap. after the main even with hulk hogan and mr. t. and mr. wonderful and rowdy roddy piper ( with the hulkster prevailing, of course) everyone left and i went to maggots house and we played friday the 13th on nintendo then watched trent harris' plan 10 from outer space.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah muffin, blah blah blah, naked juice, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah math blah blah blah math lab, blah blah blah blah blah blah stupid math, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah work, blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rode the bus, blah bah blah blah blah grocery store, blah blah jambalaya, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah lex's new pork sandwich that i named the lexico blah salt and pepper kettle chips blah blah blah blah blah blah blah maggots house, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah cassie's birthday, blah bah blah blah tres leches cake, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah jendar's house,blah blah blah blah blah blah blah pina colada, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah maggots house, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Friday, March 21, 2008

i'm getting lazier by the second

i almost didn't make a post for yesterday. but i am. and i'm fighting all my procrastinative instincts to write this post. so its gonna be short. because nothing happened yesterday. i can't remember yesterday morning so i'll skip to afternoon. i was at work. then i went home. i ate about a half bag of tortilla chips and medium salsa. they were leftover form the show the other night. when i came home my appetite was whetted by robs smoker. its getting to be that time of year again where we can cook outside. i had to see what rob was cooking so i looked in the smoker. there was nothing but a perfectly stacked trapezoidal formation of charcoal. if my life depended on it i don't think i would have the patience to do what rob did with those charcoal. he was going to cook some chicken he had been marinating. after a while i checked again and the chicken was almost done, and so i walked in robs. lex and blythe and rob were all there getting rady to eat. they asked me if i wanted some. duh. of course i did. and will. blythe made some cakes made of brown rice, pecans and goat cheese. very delicious. the chicken was great. rob marinated it in lime and soy sauce and worchestershire and liquid smoke. i'll not publicly harass rob for his deliberate and disregardant use of liquid smoke at this time. we decided it was nice enough to eat outside so lex took a table and some chairs outside in our parking lot and we ate outside. good times for all. i gave everyone a mexican coke as my contribution. after we cut up outside for a while i went over to keriannes for a "luau". i saw a few people, talked to a few people, waited for alicia, then left. i'm not a provo social gathering-er. i usually only know one or two people at the gatherings and really could care less about everyone else. after that i went to maggots for a second because i had to take back some movies, and i grabbed my corned beef and turkey, because i've kinda been fiending for one lately. and i don't like hanging out with her folks who are still in town. they make me all self conscious. so i took my stuff to my house. rob and blythe and lex were hanging out when i walked in watching what they thought was the season finale of the apprentice. it wasn't, so we all watched king of kong: a fistfull of quarters. it was a hit. it pissed everyone off within like 10 minutes. haha. billy mitchell can woof on a wang. and so can his lackeys. after the film, me and lex started playing cards. tons of fun. then i went to bed.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

he's a spitter, sir

so i had court again yesterday. like usual, i woke up too early and had lots of time to kill. i showered, shaved, and got ready. i decided i did not want to wear a suit. i didn't eat anything before i went in. i probably should have, but it turned out ok. the typical cast of orem 4th district court were present and accounted for and even a cameo appearance by one of the more depraved sort were in attendance, so the events of the day gave me enough energy to sustain myself til i could get some food. so i walk in and sit down and there was this guy wearing some sort of netted contraption on his head in the holding box. it had like a cloth thing around the bottom covering his mouth. i wondered if it was because he was sick. well i didn't think much about it other than he just looked kinda crazy. which was fine. i dig the crazies. there were the normal dui, unpaid fines, reviews and pre-trial stuff. there was one kid who got busted smoking weed in a park out of an apple core. the judge gave him shit about smoking weed in one of the most conspicuous places possible. and i concur. this ain't a big place. cops don't really have much to do here. and most citizens are more than happy to call them. why do you think they call it dope, dope. well the crazy guy with the face thing got called up and the judge asked if he had a health problem, to which the prosecutor nonchalantly called out, "no sir, he's a spitter", to which the judge responded with some incredulity; "a spitter? you spit on people? why do you spit on people? who did you spit on", and the prosecutor, the acme of nonchalance, responded, "um, a transportation officer and one of the officers here, sir", and the judge says "ok i'm not going to talk to you until you can learn how to not spit on people, so we're going to hold you for another day to see if you can get that thing off your head" to which mr.crazy responded, "i don't do that anymore judge", and the nonchalant proseutor fired back, "he spit on someone today, sir" and the judge, in his wisdom, says, "ok, take him out" and mr.crazy, of course is trying to convince the judge in the worst way that he does not spit at people anymore and that he doesn't do that sort of thing, and the judge keeps saying the court will hold him for as long as we need to, by this time the guy is up to two days in the hole and makes it out of the courtroom door into the holding cell where everyone gets to hear him shoot a few fuck yous and assholes at the cops and the judge, to which the judge replies "or, five days". i got a pretty good laugh out of it. i think the judge and the prosecutor thought it was funny too, ecause when the judge caught me laughing, he didn't say anthing. this was about the 4th or 5th time i've been busted laughing by the judge in court, and i guess if he had a problem with it he would have said something. i guess he was happy to have an audience, because i kept noticing him glancing at me anytime he said something sarcastic in court. like am i the only person who is entertained by court proceedings? anyway, i was the last person to go and i got a continuance, and after wards i stuck around a sec to ask the pub defender a question and before i could get his attention the judge went off record and the lawyers and the judge started talking about the crazy guy. i tried my hardest to not pay attention to what they were saying, but my mothers side of the family has taught me better. i think when you're privy to certain information its perfectly acceptable to be a fly on the wall and act like you have no idea you're privy. it turns out mr.crazy had decided to start throwing shit at the cops. like turds. out of his butt. and hit one of the cops in the face. it took everything i had not to pitch my head back and laugh at the top of my lungs, but i succeeded. i made a face that looked as if i was surprised any one in the criminal system would ever do such a thing. so after wards i went to school and got some lunch. by this time i was starving. i got a crappy chicken broccoli casserole thing and a salad at the cafeteria. along with a cherry 7-up. i love cherry 7-up. god bless the inventors of cherry flavored syrup. so i went to class and we talked about the dadas and their approach to technology. pretty cool discussion. then i went to work and played a game called ballon invasion for 3 hours straight. i then left work and got a sub sandwich that was soggy and lame. i did have some sour cream and cheddar chips though. can't lose with those. i was pretty beat from the the show the night before and it was only about 5:45 so i got a vanilla frappuchino to wake me up. didn't work. i wasted some more time online before i went to the dada cinema where we watched a few episodes of the 3 stooges. one of my favorite tv shows ever. i doubt there is an episode i haven't seen. i used to watch it daily when i was a kid and teenager. i'm glad alex showed these. i'm gonna start watching again. i went home and sat on the couch and watched tv and hung out with dave and lex for a bit then went to bed.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

this is what happens when i skip a day.

i don't post til like 4:30 the next day and i forget everything. i think for breakfast i had my regular muffin and nakee juice then math then i went to work for a bit and sat around for a while. then grabbo and i got lunch. ok, its all coming back to me now. so i go upstairs to the valley view cafeteria. i see they have a spaghetti thing. and i think, yo, i'm not that hungry so i'll get that. so the goofball kid behind the counter gets like no spaghetti in the tongs and puts it on the bowl and starts to put sauce on it, and i say, woah, hey, thats it? and he looked at me like he was confused and i said, thats all you're going to give me for like $3.50? he was like, yeah, thats one portion, and i say thats bullshit, and thats a ripoff. and he looked even more confused than before so i went downstairs to the crappy mexican place and i got a giant enchilada with a giant scoop of beans and rice with lots of sauce and lots of cheese for like 5 bucks. i really hate uvsc dining services. i wouldn't mind paying $3.50 for a bowl of pasghetti that was made from quality ingredients but the pasta was dried out and the sauce came from a damn can. AND ITS CAFETERIA FOOD. good hell. it bothers me most that dining services is trying to turn a profit off students, most of whom, at uvsc anyway, are broke to begin with. its a commuter school for heavens sake. most people are married and have kids. most people are "non-traditional" students. most people don't have their parents paying for everything. the hell you guys. stop jacking us. this was the conversation grabbo and i had this conversation over lunch. after lunch i pretty much just went home and sat around till practice (we hadn't practiced since before rob left and i was having visions of a horribly botched set), and practice went cool then i hung out with maggot for a sec (her folks is in town) then took a little nap. i decided i needed to get some food for the bands so i walked to smiths since i couldn't drive. and i couldn't have gotten the van out if i had tried because the assholes working on the stucco monster next door had a giant truck blocking off our entire parking lot. thanks guys. so i got:
2 red baron classic crust pepperoni pizzas
1 red baron classic crust 4 cheese pizza
1 bag of white corn tortilla chips
1 jar of pace picante medium salsa
after i got back i kicked it for a bit more then got the place set up for the show and people started showing up. it was pretty uneventful, til the bands showed up. then things got rolling and the show went on without a hitch. with the exception of me burning all the pizzas. only one was inedible though. shame, it was one of the pepperonis. so both the touring bands ruled, jareds band, the kidneys ruled, and we ruled too. i do, however need to invest in a guitar tuner. and i broke the input jack on the mosrite again. thats gonna bug me forever. i need to get a replacement and leave the battle scars as they are and stop trying to keep fixing it. oh well. after the show i had a slice of the edible pizza and hung out with the bands (unnatural helpers and the fallouts) then went to bed.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


so i'm finally back on a regular eating routine again. well, more regular than 6 mexican cokes a day and monte cristo sandwiches at crappy casinos. i had a bran muffin this morning and a naked juice for breakfast, then for lunch i had a semi healthy roast beef sandwich at the humanities luncheon (plus some veggies with ranch dressing, and one chocolate chip cookie). oh and they had some lemonade there that i was digging. after class and work i got home and decided to clean a bit since we're having a show at the house tomorrow and it was kinda smelly in the house. that was good to do. i listened to that new(ish) television double lp while i was cleaning. tom verlaine really likes his guitar. i can't take the extended live solos. but whatever, i got the house cleaned up some and went to meet randall and alicia because we were going to go to that really crappy mexi-fashion store called genx. i needed some cheap plain t-shirts to make my animal encounters shirts. that place is a virtual whats what of the clothes no one should wear, but do, and do it willingly and proudly. i don't get it. i saw a suit with leather on it. on the shoulders. dyed green. we left there and went next door to macy's because randall wanted to get a kong cone. he had to harass the deli counter skanks to make it to is liking: like a foot tall, 1/3 in a cup 1/3 free standing and 1/3 in a cone. all held together by deli counter skank love. that sounds dirtier than it should. all the while i was waiting for one of the skanks to figure out how to thinly slice peppered turkey and corned beef. its amazing how easy technology is when you understand the tools you're given. set the slicer at the lowest setting, and thats thinly sliced. 1/4 inch is not thinly sliced. opacity is an indicator of thinly sliced meat. finally we got out of there and i went to maggots to start working on the shirts. randall couldn't finish the kong cone so he gave me the cup and alicia the cone. somehow he managed to eat the middle out. after i finished with the shirts i made another turben. i had the heels of the bread left. i thought it was going to ruin the sandwich, but it didn't. it actually made a really good crusty crust. soaked in butter. with my belly full of turben and mexican coke i was reay to surf then net til i was too bored to think.

Monday, March 17, 2008

lazy sunday

wasn't much different that any other day this week. maggots folks came into town so i pretty much hung out at my house. i did some laundry and i played guitar a bit. i didn't eat anything til about 3:30 when austin and i went to maggots an i made a couple of turbens. we hung out and austin played tetris then we watched that documentary on donkey kong called "king of kong: a fist full of quarters". it was so great. i love how billy mitchell is such a dick. actually i hate it. so he can play arcade games. big whoop. i can take a dump. and whats even more pathetic than billy mitchell are all the nutslaps who worship him and revere him. i totally think the steve dude is a much more interesting person. plus he doesn't look like lorenzo lamas. while we watched the film, i drank a ginger ale. i decided canada dry burps better than any other drink i've ever had. after the filnm was iver i went back to my house and me and dave played music for a bit. we kinda goofed around with some hill country blues and then i started playing some surf stuff. diamond head is probably my favorite to play. after about 2 hours of messing around cassie called me because she had, yet again, locked her keys in her car. so me and dave went over to maggots to grab cassie and we took her to borders where she works and where her car was. after we got back i watched tv for a while then maggot called and was back down in provo. we watched the donkey kong film again and ordered a dominoes brooklyn style pizza. it was pretty good. i always forget about dominoes when i go to order pizza. i dunno why. it isn't bad for how cheap it is.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

last day of spring break eve

i decided since i hadn't gotten a damn thing done all weekend that i should probably get some constructive chores accomplished. here's what i didn't do that i should have:
cleaned my house
changed the oil in the van
put new spark plugs in the van
done some homework
saved money

i did, however:
clean some parts of my room
practice for a bit
take the bench seat out of the van

i didn't really have anything for breakfast, although at around 11 i ate a few strudel bites with a tiny glass of oj. that kept me cool til about 2:00 at which point lex and i walked over to joe veras. i made him get the zapata burger. he dug it. i also got a zapata burger. and a cheese crisp. i'm in love with that place. i really need to get some of their mexican food. after finishing off the burger we left and i went to gheybens house to hang out for a bit and we pretty much just played catchup and then ihad to go to practice. once i got there it was just me and maggot so we decided to start a new band with maggot on guitar and me on drums. it was pretty good. maggot can write cool stuff when she gets in a groove. she's just shy and a little self conscious at first. once we got rollin it was great. after practice we hug out at my house for a bit thn we went to smiths to grab stuff for dinner. we got:
2 ribeye steaks
1 tub of sour cream
2 potatoes
1 salad mix
1 bottle of caesar dressing
1 bottle of real bacon bits
1 bag of medium cheddar cheese
we then went to maggots and cooked the steaks and the taters and ate til we couldn't then watched oceans 13 that we rented from hollywood. the girl at the desk who checked us out at hollywood sounded like a man. she wasn't sick. she sounded like dr.girlfriend. i've never encountered a woman who had a voice like that. i almost asked her if she was a tranny.

Friday, March 14, 2008


today was pretty uneventful. like we woke up at around 10:30 so we could checkout on time and everyone gave me some gas money which i promptly blew at a blackjack table. i didn't actually blow all of it, i just blew 20 of it. what a pisser that was. i can't wait for my gub-ment rebate check...we thought about going to the rainbow inn buffet but since it was past breakfast (wtf, what if we were truckers? don't they need breakfast 24hrs a day?) they closed the buffet down. so we opted for danishes and arbys. for breakfast i had:
1 cheese danish
1 arbys roast beef sandwhich
1bottle of water
after the danish, that roast beef hit the spot. we went out to the bonneville salt flats and maggot took a few pictures of everyone. super good time. after goofing off there for a bit we hit the road. man i love road trips. and this one was pretty rad. people reading, people playing cards, people napping, people talking. i love the van. like 6 people was perfect for this trip. and the people that came were just the right sort. after we rove into provo we dropped everyone off at jesse and charleys and then went to my house to unload. i had to drop off some ebay stuff that was about 2weeks late to be shipped. i hope i don't get negative feedback. pfft. ebay sucks now. if i get negative feedback, as a seller, it goes away in like a year. B.S. anyway, so i grabbed the bag of gardettos and headed off to maggots. we pretty much sat around all day. and i snacked on gardettos. i started working on some upcoming shows i want to do. like in june the box elders are coming through. super stoked about that one. liz (who rules) from boomchick hooked us up with that. also i talked to rich crook from lover(and lost sounds, and knaughty knights, and the reatards) about setting something up for the lover/black and whites west coast tour. thats gonna be one of the funnest shows ever...if it pans out. everyone please cross your fingers. so margaret got hungry, and i can usually always eat, so we went to las tarascas. the waiter guy knows us now. it rules. i think if we keep going on a regular basis we're going to start getting hooked up. this time i got sopitos. super good. maggot got a gordita and a plate of their beans and rice again, i highly recommend their beans and rice. i would never admit to making a mistake at las tarascas, but i probably should have waited a bit longer before i ate. lets just say that the chorizo burned me twice. once i cooled down me and maggot started playing nintendo and i suck at super mario3. maggot decided she wanted some cookies and cream ice cream so she punched a package of oreos and then dumped them into a bowl of ice cream and mixed it together. twas pretty good.

spring break...woooo!!!

so last night at jesses house we (maggot me jesse charley austin and ricky) decided to go to wendover. thats where i am right now. what a skeezy place. i love it. i gambled away about 60 bucks. i lost 40 at the black jack table and about 5 at slots, so i guess i got 15 left over. still. at one point i was up 40 at blackjack but then we got a new dealer and she took everyone. lame. so after i got up i had to get the va ready to go, and that meant putting the seats back in. and cleaning it out. which i did grudgingly. we didn't actually leave town til about 6:30. but maggot and i went to sams and got some snacks for the road. we got:
1 case of mexican coke (still made with cane sugar)
1 thing of baker eddie's cheese danishes
1 bag of gardettos snack mix
while we were at sams i also got:
2 slices of pizza
one raspberry sweet tea and lemonade
and maggot got:
1 diet coke
when we got back to maggots we kinda had to wait for everyone to get ready. no prob. i snacked on a few more streudel bites.
once we got on the road i had about a handful or so of the gardettos and one mexican coke.
i love my van. like everyone fit comfortably and like everyone was having a good time. ricky started telling confused patient stories from his being a nurse which were hilarious and austin was being austin and jesse was goofing on austin being austin. once we got to wendover, we got some rooms and headed down to the casino. thats where i lost all my money. its ok. its pretty much the best 40+ dollars i've wasted. i hope people buy the animal encounter shirts i made.that should make up for it. i put a link of the images in my bands etc section to your left there. check tham out. if you like what you see let me know and i'll be happy to make you a shirt. before we actually started playing cards, we got some food. people of earth, i had a monte crist. i'mpretty sure the quality of the ingredients were of the lowest sort, but damn, that was a tasty sandwich. i'm gonna add it to my favorite sandwiches list. its easily in the top 10. after my blackjack debacle me and rick and maggot hit some of the slots. i played the penny slots. it wasn't so bad. i felt like it was a cheap video game that i was convinced i'd never get my money back from. oh well. time to get to the motel room where i know austin and charley are duking it out over the bosconian game they brought.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


yes i'm spelling it right. because tis the name i've given to the most delicious sandwich ever. i decided to go ahead and combine my two favorite sandwiches into one colossal appetite satiant. i used the potato bread and the turkey and provolone mixed with the corned beef, sauerkraut, russian dressing and grey poupon and in a taste test 3 out of 3 loved it. its more than 110% because i love it too! maggot caeup with the name because i was going to call it the rubkey. she said it sounded dirty. and yes, turben does have a nice ring to it. and i had like 3 of them today. along with a few ginger ales and some blueberry streudel bites i got at the store the other day. i wandered around provo putting up some flyers for the show, which no one will come to, only to realize there is a glaring typo. i usually call my house the compound, but on the flyer i spelled it comound. oh well. it doesn't matter since no one cares. after that i went to help emma look at a car she was thinking about buying. i'm glad i went. i think it had been in about 4 big wrecks and the guy who had done the body work sucked because i think instead of paint he used an orange peel. also none of the body panels lined up and the two front quarter panels stuck up about a half inch over the hood. you may not know what this means, but i do. and it sucks if you're looking to buy a car off someone. especially when they tell you with no hesitation that the car has never been in a wreck. also the air conditioner was missing. we made our way back over to my house and lex was hoe and i started trying to takeout the back bench seat in the rocket ship. this may be a two day ordeal. i have to use a sawzall to cut the clamps off the seat because the bolts are rusted tight. wd-40 aint got a thing on this van. after running the battery dry on the saw i went to jesse's to watch jesse and ricky watch the jazz game. i don't like sports, i just like sports fans. ricky was getting really worked up so i mived across the room. i was having flashbacks of my dad throwing things (including, but not limited to: the cat, the newspaper, cans of dr.pepper, o'douls, me, chairs, books, and anything he could get his meaty paws on) while watching university of memphis b-ball games. my mom would always try to get me to watch games with him because she thought it would make me like him more. but it usually only served as a reminder of how much time i didn't want to spend with him. ricky promised me he wouldn't punch me, just the couch or the floor. so after the game charley made some brownies and put neopolitan ice cream on it. i think i've said it once, but i'll say it again: brownies with ice cream is the lords gift to human kind. eternal life ain't got nothin on brownies and ice cream. around this time we decided to watch no country for old men. such a great film. i love the cohens, and i love cormac mccarthy. he's one of my favorite writers ever. and the cohens did such a great job on that film. before we watched it i had to go make a turben because i was fiending. i made everyone who woud volunteer take a bite. thats how i got the above statistic on the turben taste test. after the movie we sat around and discussed plans to go to wendover nev. yeah, i know. but its spring break and i got nothin better to do.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

m is for mean

and m stands for maggot. because she punches and slaps me continually. for no DAMN reason. and she's looking over my shoulder. watching me. i tried experimenting with the reuben again. i decided to make a bacon reuben. it was mediocre. i know. bacon usually enhances any food it is used with. somehow it didn't mix well with the sauerkraut. but at least i tried it and thats what counts. now i can tell everyone else that trying to make a reuben with bacon isn't the best idea. i bet it would taste good with turkey, but as the solo meat it didn't pan out. so after that i washed it down with ginger ale and a hand full of wheat thins. then i watched some more venture brothers. and fell asleep on maggots couch. for like 4 hours. then i got up because her couch sucks when two people try to sleep on it. so i snuck into her room and fell asleep in her bed for a couple of hours. i woke up with a headache. i blame it squarely on the bacon reuben. after being groggy for like an hour we went to old navy. i bought a shirt there that was too small and i needed to exhange it. it was like 3 bux. after we went to old navy we went to smiths and i got:
1/2 lb of corned beef
1/2 lb of hickory smokedpepperedturkey
1/2 lb of provolone cheese
1/2 gallon of breyers natural vanilla ice cream
now i can make normal reubens again. crap. i just realized i forgot to buy rye bread. anyway, we went to joe veras and me and maggot split a zapata burger and a cheese crisp. so good. i wasn't really even hungry (again, squarely blamed on the bacon reuben) but that burger is so good i can't resist eating one. or 1/2 of one. we went back to maggots and watched 28 weeks later. so maggot is pressuring me to finish. fine. post done. geez.

Monday, March 10, 2008


so i woke up late, no thanks to william willett, and i roped maggot into taking me to school by bribing her with Einsteins bagels, but we took too long at Einsteins so i missed math. i've really sucked about going to math lately. i went to the computer lab and fooled around then went to the cafeteria and got a salad. yup. i put lettuce and spinach and hard boiled egg, and chicken chunks and kidney beans, and cheese and ranch dressing. missing math all came back to me as i walked down the hall after the dada class and i ran into my little phillipina math teacher and she had to give me crap about missing class but i redirected the conversation towards something i had been reading about. longanisa. its a phillipino sausage thats supposed to be sweet. she told me where to find it and how to cook it, then told me she was going to make me cook it at her house when i learned how. i'm kinda scared of her. after that i went to work. errin was in a meeting the whole time so i was pretty bored. maggot came to pick me up and we went to las tarascas. i got the carne asada burrito and it was pretty damn good. i ate too much which sucked because me and maggot were supposed to go play tennis. yup. tennis. we actually ended up playing a few hours later after letting the food digest. we both sucked. after we played tennis we sat around for a while then went to smiths and i found some rad mexican confection that i knew jesse would dig on. when we got back to maggots i decided to experiment. i made a turkey reuben. i don't usually condone this type of thing but it turned out so very good. i usually don't put mayo on my reuben but i kinda mixed the turkey melt with the reuben so necessity dictated i put mayo on it. it turned out great. maggot got upset because i wasn't talking to her when i was eating it. i really couldn't talk because it was that good. we then watched more venture brothers. i was going to try to eat some dessert, but i'm too full. i'll do that in the morning.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

i feel like i just did this

oh wait. i did. so for some reason i wasn't hungry when i woke up at noon. probably because i ate an entire frozen pizza. it was a red baron classic crust pepperoni. i can't remember if i've gone over my criteria for pizza. here it goes:
thick crust pizzas: suck
fake deep dish: suck
red baron classic crust: pretty good
most any thin crust pizza: not too bad
smokehouse bbq+pizza: hit and miss
este pizza in SLC (RIP): badass
the pizza that maggot threw out of the van in new york while we were on on tour in a fit of rage(RIP): pretty damn good
costco pizza: meh
papajohns: so so (better when it cools off)
little caesars: i can't bash it. it saved me a few times
dominoes: hit or miss
pizza hut: i'd rather eat at arby's
that place we ate in chicago the morning after the 2006 blackout: a-friggin-mazing.
red baron deep dish singles: pretty good little filler
nicolitalia provo: pretty damn good (if you can take enormous amounts of garlic)
so i got ready went to church went to maggots and got super hungry. maggot had no food at her house but goat cheese and i was wanting a sandwich. so we went to the store and i grabbed a half LB of hickory smoked peppered turkey and a 1/4 LB of provolone for a turkey melt, and another red baron classic crust for later (which i'm about to pre-heat the over for). after i made the turkey melt me and maggot watched the beginning of darjeeling LTD and ate, then we watched more venture brothers. i'm really addicted to that show. venture bros misquote of the day:
hank: "dean i know you're sad about dad being gone and all, but you're no wartime consigliere"
the venture watching went on for a few hours then maggot wanted something to drink so we made our way over to the 7-11. i talked maggot into pulling me on my skateboard most of the way there. regardless of what she says, its hard work staying balanced on crappy unmaintained provo sidewalks when someone is pulling you on a skateboard. when we got to the sev i wandered around on my skateboard in the store til i decided to also get a drink. i got limeade. and drank it on the way back. and i skated back unaided by maggot. then i proceeded to waste a couple of hours online. if you'll notice in my links section, i posted the bradx bible cooking show. watch it. bradx was in last sons of krypton, one of the greatest bands in the last 15 years. for some reason he got saved and has now decided to tell people about jesus while he makes breakfast.
k. pizza is in the oven.
i'm listening to this soul comp DJ bazooka joe put up on divshare and i love it. i'm so completely ignorant to so much R+B and soul stuff. i'm glad people like BJ are out there digging this stuff up and sharing it with people. the RIAA can suck my balls. most of this stuff gets forgotten by all but a handful of people in the world (by handful i mean thousands out of billions) and without them, the average person will never know it existed. for my part, i've just started looking for more groups and labels i can get into. i seem to like alot of the southern stuff, go figure, but it sounds alot more funky and gritty. its sad that now to play this kinda music is kitschy and people don't take it seriously. i see soul music as one of the more important cultural transitions in black culture. without soul american music would be pretty boring, but more importantly it was a venue for the black voice in popular culture that could not be ignored. just as hip hop cannot be ignored. and just like funk could not be ignored. anyway, give those songs a listen. they're all pretty badass. pizza's almost ready.


woke up yesterday kinda late and didn't really have time to eat much of anything because i had to load the van up and get ready for the show in salt lake, and maggot had practice with the hotness at like 2 but she had to take a giant test. after me and rob and lex loaded up the van i had to run some errands and then wait for maggot. like as soon as we left for salt lake i got super hungry and i hate stopping once i get going, so we waited til we got to salt lake to get food. we stopped in at one of our fav salt lake places, greek souvlaki#1 on 300s and like 4oo west and i got the giro combo and some dolmathes and maggot got a giro and some baklava. i also made myself an arnold palmer with the tea and lemonade. wasnt the best i've made, but it sufficed. after we ate maggot went to practice. i keep forgetting i hate watching bands practice, even if i like the band. something to do with me wanting to say, oh man, you guys need to change this song up a bit, or get rid of it, or other things along those lines. can't help it. i always restrain myself because i know most of my songs blow and they're intrinsically filler and i have no room to talk about anyone else's creative expression. still, i hate going to other bands practices. afterwards we got tickets to the imax 3d deep sea monsters movie at the clarke planetarium. we had a couple of hours to kill so we wandered around the gateway. what a treat that always is. we stopped in at jcrew and i felt indigent. we stopped in at urban outfitters and i always get a kick out of the kids working there and the people shopping there. everyone checking everyone else out. so funny. its a sad type of anti-depressant induced vanity. though i did stare down one of the hipsters working there who had a dish rag tied around his neck who looked me up and down. yes, hipster, you may be wearing the latest, but i however do not voluntarily clone myself. to urban outfitter fashion. and other bullshit dictated by vice magazine. or whatever other sources there are for "hip" couture. retarded is the new hip. though i'm addicted to matchstick jeans as of late. can't really explain it. i guess jesse is right, i guess i'm updating my look. after spending a few seconds in black chandlier we waked back over to the planetarium and settled in for the movie. johnny depp, and kate winslett were narrating. i hate johnny depp. but i love octopi. and they showed a few. i decided i'm going to start drawing more octopi. i have a few that i've done that put the octopus in different situations where he isn't quite natural, to see how he negotiates unfamiliar territory. i may upload a few of the images. there were other animals including sharks and stuff, but nothing in the ocean is more interesting to me than the octopus. i kinda want one. after the movie we went over to no brow and got some pick me up before the show. then loaded in at red light books. where we sat around for like an hour. we ended up playing last because the first guy wasn't feeling good, and he took like an hour to set up. jareds band played and they were good and then we played and it was good. no one was there though, which sucked, but austin came up and that was cool. after the show we hung out a little bit then headed back. we couldn't decide what to eat because we had gotten hungry after our set and kept getting off track in our decision making conversation and before we knew it we were back in provo still hungry. so we went to smiths and got some frozen pizzas, went to my house and watched venture brothers.

Friday, March 7, 2008

10 pins

i really should start eating breakfast more. i should also remember to do my laundry before i run out and have to miss classes. i probably shouldn't get a veggie burger with bacon, but guess what, i do and i friggin love it. wanna know why? because it friggin tastes good, thats why. i eat food because it tastes good. if it doesn't taste good i don't eat it. know what else tastes good? the zapata burger i had a joe vera's tonight. that tasted way good (even though they put it on regular bread and not a bun, i guess they ran out of buns). the flan we had tonight wasn't too good, but i ate some, because it was free, and even though its not my favorite i had a few bites. yeah. and then i went to ruels show opening and it was pretty damn cool. and then i went bowling. my high tonight was about 122. not bad for not having bowled in a few years. i think i just might go again. damn straight. if you're around salt lake tomorrow night, come see split reactions play. we're playing at red light books in salt lake. 300s 200e down in the basement. should be a good time.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


so i have to be quick. i had a muffin, went to math, wanted to kill people, went to work, went to lunch with vegor, and had the chicken pot pie. super good. also had cheesy potatoes, which were also good. went back to the office, wasted time went home, had practice with rob, maggot showed up , worked on a new song, went to maggots had papap johns, played tetris, wasted more time then went home and went to bed. i think i had a ginger ale somewhere in there too.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


was the theme of today. i define performativity as the assuming of specific roles in specific contexts. and as the contexts change so do the roles. performativity isn't static. and i didn't eat breakfast again. i woke up late and missed my brit lit class. i didn't have math today, but i did a lot of math homework. not to mention i left my wallet at maggots house and had to make my way to her house then try to catch one of the five busses that run through her neighborhood. once i got on the bus and got to school i was hungry. it was about 12:30 by then and i needed some solid rocket fuel. dining services was serving meatloaf today. scoff all you want but good meatloaf rules. and you can make meatloaf sandwiches. i love meatloaf sandwiches. lo and behold, uvsc makes an edible meatloaf. after the meatloaf and veggies and salty mashded potatoes and gravy i made my way to class. this is where the whole performativity thing started. in dada, performance was nearly essential, and in performing, a role has to be assumed. a person cannot play them self because the person has to decide how they want to be interpreted by others. as a student i have to assume the role of the student, but i decide what kind of student i will be. as a musician i have to play music to be a musician, and i have to decide what kind of musician i want to be. as a writer i have to write in an assumed voice to perform the act of writing. in each of these there are ways of performing the roles, and in each case it is up to the performer to interpret how the role should be played, with an audience in mind, to be interpreted as the performer wishes to be interpreted. in social contexts, performativity dictates how a person wishes to be regarded by peers inside and outside of social groups. in dada, performativity is a way to subvert social groups, art forms and performance itself. somehow no one really caught on to this idea in class. this is a 300 level class. wtf. don't get me started on the ritual aspect of this either. i'm of the opinion most of this started with ritual. after trying really hard not to berate my fellow students for an hour i went with grabbo and jason to the cafeteria to kick it for a while before i went to work. jason had a taco salad and it looked really really good. so i got one. it was pretty good except for the fact that someone in the higher echelons of dining services decided that they would not, under any circumstances, even in time of famine and trial, put refried beans on their taco salads. what bone head was behind this one? who doesn't put refried beans on a taco salad? like, its intrinsic to taco salad. i told maggot this and she said, "well, thats just total crap". right you are sister jones. after suffering through the greasy shell and minuscule amounts of shredded cheese, i got a phone call from the incredible julk asking me if i was coming to work or not. woops. so i headed off to work. i was the only one in the ofice most of the day because today was one of those days where julk wanted to kill people. and she left early. and i did math. and did my usual internet surfing routine. (my daily internet routine can be found on yesterdays post.) between that and math i wasted a good 4 hours. i decided to stay at work a little later so i could catch up on math because its due tomorrow and i'm probably not going to do any tonight. or tomorrow. told you i was lazy. i finally left work at around 6:30 to go to dada cinema. tonight we watched ordet. super good. on my way down to see the film i stopped at a food stand because i wanted something to drink. i got a sunkist. and i saw they had a few hot dogs left. and i can't resist a hot dog. with mustard. and sunkist to wash it down. i really don't know how to begin describing ordet. like i could look at it from so many angles that i kinda want to wait a day or so before i talk about it. i mean the easy dichotomies are there and while they are worthwhile to discuss i'd rather do a little closer reading of the film. in some regards it reminds me of kaspar hauser in the way that johannes is denied access to language by his family because of his madness, but simultaneously, his approach to communication is the only way the family can save itself. its the family's duty to "accept" johannes as he is and blame themselves for his madness (theres that assumed performative role) and in their acceptance of him they enable themselves to completely disregard what he says, because, since he is mad, his access to language cannot be founded on reason and rationality. after we finished watching the film i ate a few of the cookie things old man mike brought and i'm pretty much filled to the brim and ready to vomit. its now time for me to assume the role of the sleepy student and brush my teeth, say my prayers and go to bed.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

public defense

i'm getting lazier and lazier. i woke up early to get to class on time and i stopped to grab a naked juice and muffin on the way and then i kinda just ended up in a computer lab. i started doing some homework though if that makes it any better. it doesn't. because i'm pretty sure i missed a damn quiz. those quiz grades are gonna bite me in the near future. after i got tired of doing homework i went up to the office and started doing homework again. i find that if i take a break or two while doing homework i'm a bit more productive than when i try to do a marathon of math. i needed to send some flyers up to jared for the show saturday night so he could do some promoting. then i headed back up to the office for more drudgery. really, i don't know what i do there. i think i read the goner board about 30 times, then checked my facebook a few times , then craigslist, then back to the goner board, then myspace, then my bank account, then facebook and then i repeated that about 15 times. then i got hungry and heated up the leftover casserole thing i made last night. i put a little water in it and it tasted waay better. then i watched the police chase a guy in long beach on cnn. probably one of the greatest thing i've ever seen. dude was totally screwing with the cops. at least thats what it looked like. especially when he drove out on to the baseball diamond and was doing donuts around the cop car. it kinda felt like a real life dukes of hazard. no jumping though. and it was a white escalade. and they weren't in the south. so after that i did a few more math problems and then decided the office wasn't the place to do homework. so i went back to the computer lab in the la building. on the way i called to check my status for getting a public defender. score. so i called the guy. he rules. we chatted about my case for a bit and he told me some stories about other cases similar to mine and i hung up feeling great about my situation. i'm still gonna wear my new suit to court. so after about 20 minutes of wanting to punch the nice lcd screens uvsc has (because the math homework program we use sucks donkey balls) i decided to catch the bus home. on the way home i started getting hungry again so after my stop, center and univ ave in provo, i walked over to the gandalfos and grabbed a reuben. the dude who owns it recognized me and whipped it up fast and i was on my way. after a quick walk home with a warm reuben in my hoodie pocket i settled in for the battle royale. that sandwich is huge. when i make them i usually go easy on the meat, but gandalfos piles it on. i think i popped another rib with this one. when i finished eating i started taking up some of the gear that was till downstairs after the show saturday. the maggot and rob and charley showed up and we had practice. we made a set for the show saturday and started working on a new one. maggot doesn't like the new one so i may have to tweak it to get her to play it. after practice me and maggot went to her house with the intention of doing homework. didn't happen. charley gave me a cd full of photos that jesse had taken like over a year ago of red rockets and sons of the guillotine shows. plus a video of the red rockets covering down in flames at the halloween hardcore show in 2006. man that was so funny to see. i should have ended that band before it started. oh well. chalk it up to something. after i loaded the photos and video up on faceook, i grabbed a ginger ale and laid into the salt and pepper chips i got the other night. as of right now my belly is full and i'm gonna sleep good tonight.

Monday, March 3, 2008

eat right in

no breakfast. i had to drop off my rent check to the worst property management company in provo. aspen ridge. if you decide to move to a new place, make damn sure they don't manage the property. i've never encountered as much ineptitude in the 4 weeks they've managed my apartment. lost y rent check, lost our contracts, harassed me for a week about someone else's rent. i can't wait to see what happens this month. after math (i stayed this time) i decided to bail on the brit lit class. i figured i spent enough time researching the great plague that i could afford a few days off from that torture. so i went to the computer lab, started in on some math homework and did that for about an hour then got hungry and heated up the leftover chicken broccoli pesto i made last night. man, that is some rich food. that meal stayed with me most of the day. after the dada class i was walking with some of the newspaper kids and we were talking about maybe making this blog part of like a food column. i'm down with that. i wonder if UVSC is down. get ready. so i went to work and did more math and was generally bored then caught the bus home. maggot picked me up and we went to her house to hang out and make dinner etc. one of my favorite things to do is find whatever food maggot has laying aroud and make some totally tasty out of it. today we made like a broccoli rice velveeta cream of mushroom casserole with grilled chicken breasts. it wasn't bad. i forgot about the chicken and burned it a bit and it ried out as a result. the casserole part was the best. i threw in some rosemary and some greek seasoning and S&P and covered it ad threw it in the over for a while. while we waited i posted some pictures of the show on facebook and maggot played jaws. after we ate we sat around and now we're having a laptop party and are generally being boring. i doubt i'll eat again today. see you tomorrow.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

stir crazy

today was the day i wore my new suit out. its a fresh pinstripe with low lapels. i need to find more reasons to wear it. after i went to church, me and maggot went to smiths and got some chicken and pesto and cream and broccoli, canada dry, tortellini and marinara, and kettle chips salt and pepper chips. when we got to maggots house i mixed the cream with the pesto in a skillet and started the saucing process and let the ream and pesto simmer for a bit. i added a little red wine vinegar and salt and chili powder and black pepper, then put the chicken breasts, whole, in the skillet with chopped broccoli. i let that sit and simmer for about 45 minutes, occasionally stirring and adding more cream (the cream cooks down quite a bit). while i was waiting for this heavenly concoction to finish maggot whipped up the tortellini and i had a big ass bowl of that and i snacked on the s&p chips and had a few ginger ales. finally the broccoli chicken creamy pesto was done and i ate it up. so good. maggot was too full to eat her half, so i'm eating it for lunch tomorrow. it was super good. i can jut taste the red wine vinegar and the pesto doesn't overpoer the aste of the borccoli or the chicken. i count this as a successful experiment. i love playing around with food in the kitchen. i think ext time i do this i'll add spinach. after we ate we watched a few episodes of voltron then fell asleep. for lie 4 hours. the hell. i was supposed to go to rachel and lia hunts house for crepes, but by the time i woke up all the crepes were gone and so were all the people. i didn't really want to stay inside so i decided to see what alicia was doing. she was going to keri's house so i went to go meet up. cassie and maggot couldn't decide if they wanted to go or not about every 3 seconds. it was like when hank and dean were helping dr. venture to repair the "problem" on gargantua 1 and the problem light started blinking:
hank: its on!
dean: now its off!
hank: its on!
dean: its off
hank: on!
dean: off!
hank: on!
dean: off!
dr.venture: boys, thats called blinking!
thats how i felt about maggot and cassies indecision tonight.
then when they finally decided to come with i felt like the king with the singing son in the tower. and maggot and cassie were the guards.
i almost went out of my mind.
so when we got to keri's we hungout for a bit then walked over to her cousin myrons house where there were supposd to be waffles. no waffles. strike two. after hanging out there for a while i got bored and walked mical home. she had a dog named boo radley. she said he lived up to his name. i asked her if he accidentally killed someone with scissors as they walked by. she said no. i walked her home because i don't trust provo. the people here aren't as innocuous as everyone wants to believe. i'm pretty convinced this place is the sexual predator capital of the world. even though i have no factual basis, i don't trust guys here to not stalk and take advantage of women. especially under the guise of shiny return missionary BYU student. i then went to maggots and now she's taking me home. along with that leftover chicken broccoli pesto. mmm

emiliano to the max

i'm kind of a day late on posting, as yesterday was one of the busier days i've had in a while. it started out by me and maggot going back down to the jail in spanish fork to be fingerprinted etc. i only had to wait like 10 minutes. i was the only person there, probably because criminal don't wake up as early as me. i got the pat down and then i got the photo (turn to your right) then i did the finger prints. utah county has a fancy digital fingerprinter thing. you just put your fingers and thumbs on the screen and they scan it. pretty cool. after that was all over with i had to go drop the paperwork off at the 4th district court in orem. they weren't open so i had to put it in their drop box. and before you drop it in, you have to do the time date stamp. boy, was that a pain in my ass. the time stamp slot was like not even an 1/8th inch thick. so i had to like get down on my knees and jimmy the damn thing in and then it didn't do anything. so i took it out and put it back in thinking that by shoving it in and out i would like trigger the stamp. turns out thats not how it works. you have to leave it in till the next automatic stamp. hopefully after all that hard work they get it. after we did that we got some smiths fresh values gas and then went to maggots for breakfast. it was maggots birthday yesterday (march 1) and so cassie made the german pancakes but instead of watching cartoons i was forced to watch the worst television show ever produced: shelley duvalls fairy tale theater. what the hell. who let this happen? like there was some point in time where someone actually said, "oh, hey, this one is a winner. really good stuff you guys". not to mention shelley duvall is ugly as sin (bless her heart), she looks like a beaver had its way with a skeleton. like the premise of the show is to find hollywood actors in need of a check and completely debase and under use their talents. for some reason maggot and cassie love it. like, genuinely. its times like these i question their taste. maggots addiction to bollywood is another. after suffering through two of these episodes maggot and i decided to go take some photos. we drove around til we found a dump and took lots of pictures of trash. it was a good time and then when dustbowl 2008 hit provo we left. we were getting kinda hungry too.
DISCLAIMER:ok. i must warn you. the next few sentences will change your life.
maggot and i, after some amount of discussion, decided to go to joe vera's fiestaurant for her birthday lunch. i'm not the biggest fan of that place, but it was maggots birthday so we went. after perusing the menu for a while, i found the american food section. don't get me wrong, i really dig me some mexican food (las tarascas) but joe veras wasn't really my fav. until now. i ordered the zapata burger. people of earth, heed my words: the zapata burger at joe veras fiestaurant is one of, if not the tastiest burgers i have ever had the privilege to consume. sweet jesus i was in heaven. like every bite was better than the last. and even after i was done it kept tasting better. the only 2 burgers who are near in comparison are 1).shirley's cheeseburger at the lamplighter in memphis and 2).the one the old lady at jacks rib shack in memphis used to make before she quit. i have a feeling this cheeseburger will be a very common item on my dinner palate. maybe even lunch and breakfast too. and just like emiliano zapata is one of mexicos greatest heroes, this burger is one of mine. after engorging ourselves with too much food again, we went back to maggots and kinda just fell asleep. after a good 2 hour nap we woke up and went back over to my house for the party/show. we told everyone to be there at like 7:30. and of course no one really showed up til 8. perfect. karl and kahea's band played first. it was dancy and had beats mixed with metal and it was all done by laptop. it was pretty fun. next came ccqb. they pulled off a pretty good set too. i think this was like their 3rd or 4th show and they're getting tighter. everyone was into it. after they finished we (the split reactions) played. i thought we did great but maggot and rob thought we sucked. whatever. i had fun and the people in the crowd appeared to have fun so its cool with me. we're playing on friday with cass railroad or something, then again saturday in salt lake with agape and the kidneys at red light books (300s 200e) if anyone is interested. then the alligators played. those guys have gotten so good in the last few months, like they have a real handle on their sound. and this show was so much fun because of it. all the bands that played were great and the crowd was great and everyone stayed (which is like the first time thats ever happened i think). after the show maggot destroyed the pinata cassie and dave got. and a few people scrambled to grab the candy, but mostly its still sitting on the ground outside my house. next to the big pile of trash no one seems to want to move. at that point most everyone left and we all hung out till the only people left were me maggot lex and austin. after chatting and goofing off for about an hour we decided to get some pizzas and watch the venture brothers. it was at that point i fell asleep. viva zapata(burger).