the great plague

so i did it. i finally read about the great plague of 1665. and i gave my presentation and it was good. i don't think the kids in my class were any more bored than usual, so i counted it as a success. the coolest thing about this presentation was the color image of y.pestis i printed out. i think i'm going to use that image again sometime for a flyer or something. i skipped math again today because our crazy phillipina teacher was out of town and she had a sub come in. who does that? subs blow. i ended up going to the computer lab and researched more on the plague. i even had transparencies for my presentation. maggot called me an underachiever because i didn't read every single book and article ever written about anything having anything to do with the plague. after the brit lit class i rolled on over to the cafeteria to see what dining services had whipped up. i got the chicken cordon bleu and cheesy potatoes and a roll. its a thing of wonder how dining services can dry out a piece of chicken. it didn't taste bad, but i had to drink about a gallon of water to reconstitute it. they even managed to dry out cheesy potatoes. may the lord have mercy on them. after lunch i went to class and was super tired, probably because my body expended so much energy trying to digest dehydrated food. we talked more in the dada class about chance operations and john cage. in my opinion john cage is probably second only to duchamp in developing some of the coolest ways of approaching the act of making art. one of cages ideas that i love most is when he says that art isn't made in merely capturing nature, but in capturing the function of nature. i totally paraphrased that, so don't get all correcty on me. on our way to work, grabbo and i realized that once you cross the threshold of the GT building your i.q. seems to drop exponentially and you start talking like a backwoods retard. all we seemed to want to do on the first floor in that building was fix stuff. i don't get it. and once you pass the music department and into the service elevator things go back to normal. after work i had to run home and grab my small 'zine collection because me and vegor and brendan from the dada class were meeting to discuss the class 'zine. i'm really excited for this, not because i'm excited to see what my peers will turn in, rather i'm excited to see how much i can enrage my peers for destroying their carefully constructed "dada" work. i dont think they have any clue whats going to happen to their precious projects they worked so hard on getting "right". and since i doubt very few, if any will read this, its still going to be a big ol surprise. after we were done with our meeting vegor gave brendan and i a little truffle. i snagged an extra one for maggot because its still margrukkah (the week leading up to maggots b-day). maggot picked me up from the meeting and we went to las tarascas. i think this is the last time we'll go for a while, because i've been like 4 times in like 2 weeks and i don't want to burn out. i got gorditas again, but this time i got them with carne asada. score. next time i'm gonna try something new. and their beans give el salvadoran a run for their money. we thought we might go see a movie tonight, but hollywood sucks and i can't justify paying money simply for kitsch value. so we just went to her house and sat around. i know, i lead the most exciting life possible.

ugh.

today was the day of the bad food decision. except for the naked juice i had in the early part of the day and the w.muffin everything else kinda sucked. after i went to math for 4.57 minutes i walked down to alex's office and showed him the link to the photos i took yesterday and we talked about modern times a bit more. he's pretty easily excitable when you get him on a good subject. we talked for about 30 minutes or so then i had to run because maggot was going to take me to the utah county jail to get finger printed and stuff for being a criminal.turns out we got there at the busiest time of the day. lunchtime. ad i guess they had 1000s of people to process and the corrections officers wouldnt give anyone an approximate wait time. i'm calling shennanigans. those clowns were back in the back with their thumbs up their butts taking bets on who's thumb would taste best. thats why they couldn't take 5 minutes to roll my fingers through in and take a snapshot. i was complaining to maggot about efficiency in government employees. she said i'm not to expet anything of the sort, but i said that since i pay taxes my taxes should pay for efficiency and i can expect efficiency in public servants. i guess i'm wrong. on our way back from a wasted trip to fort spanish fork we stopped at noodles and co to grab a bite. maggot got the mac and cheese and i got the curry something or other. it wasn't that my ood tasted bad, it was more that i had eaten a w.muffin and was still kinda full and shouldn't have kept eating. i was still kinda paranoid from yesterday that i wouldn't feel full after i ate and so i guess i felt like i needed to binge. bad idea. i wasn't sick or anything, but after being at work for abut 20 minutes, vegor walked in with one of those dirty ass pork sandwiches they sell at the courte side grille and i could smell it. and dammit i had to get one. so, after eating the w.muffin, the coconut curry noodles with chicken i then ate one of those disgusting pork sandwiches. even at this hour i have no idea what possessed me. like after two bites i was full, but my retard ego says to me, no, dammit, you're eating that sandwich whether you've got room or not. eventually the rest of my subconscious kicked in to gear and i looked at what i was doing and ate all but about 2 bites. man was that stupid. not 15 minutes later i could feel my stomach punching at my asshole trying to make way for three meals worth of mistakes. problem was, i needed to get some flyers out for the show saturday and there is no way i was going to take a dump in the L.A. building. waaay to many people. my poops are afraid of strangers. after getting caught up in a few conversations i was nearing the threshold of caca tolerance. so i made my way to the loo underneath the cafeteria and settled in for the show. man. you guys have no idea. i'm continually amazed at the sounds and smells my body can produce. i guess if the ingredients are varied enough, all sorts of new and exciting concoctions can be discovered. i think to day was the day of new discoveries. after that fiasco i walked out to the bus stop to go to maggots. we went to grab her some new strings for her mosrite bass. while we were at practice jesse and lex ordered some pizzas and i could smell them from my room. i took a chance and ate a cold slice after we were done. i figured i could test the waters and be ok. as of this writing i am fine. but good hell, i need toreally learn how to control this appetite of mine. ask me about puppy bowl 2007 some time. i still have a hard time looking at seven layer dip after that one...

i hope you have a good nights sleep

thats what a giant polynesian guy said to the judge today in court. as he was being escorted out by the bailiff. he woudn't shut up and he kept going on and on about not having to pay a fine for having piles of garbage laying around his house for like a year. part of me wanted to say, yeah, let him have his piles of crap wherever he wants, it his property, but he got so annoying so quickly i was really hoping the bailiff would taze him to get him to shut up. at one point he even asked the judge to lend him some money to help pay the fine. finally the guy tarted to get visibly agitated and the bailiff moved in on him and started escorting him out and by this time he was telling the courtroom how he couldn't sleep at night and he wondered out loud how the judge slept at night and then started repeating, "judge i hope you can sleep at night, i hope you have a good nights sleep." so funny. me and jesse were sitting in the back cracking up, as were most other people. court in orem is pretty funny. i kinda wish i had a laugh track to go along with all the dumb asses that infest this place. the judge put one guy in time out in the jury box to think because he wouldn't tell the judge about his prior convictions. so funny. when i got up to the lectern i did the most sensible thing possible. pled guilty. just kidding, i pled not guilty. i think i was the most sensibly dressed, i was wearing some grey pants with a black v-neck sweater and a white shirt and a light blue tie (bradx says blue makes people trust you) and i was clean shaven (i know, right?) and i was the picture of innocence. they got nothin on this babyface. so afterwards i filled out the paperwork to get a public defender and then jesse dropped me off at school. as a result of mowing the hair off my face i got tons of predictably strange looks from classmates and professors alike. ok, i shaved, get over it, it will be back in a week. so on my way to the dada class i stopped at the teryaki stix and got myself a bowl of sweet and sour chicken. totally unsatisfying. i should have gotten the curry or the orange chicken. and it didn't really even fill me up, which is strange because usually one of those rice bowls there makes me so full i can't even think. after dada i wandered up to the office and hung out there for a bit with errin and vegor and then left when vegor left to go to work. i needed more food and no one would take me to costco to get a hot dog, and she knows who she is. so me and vegor rode the bus to the mall (he works at the woodbury gallery) and i stopped in at sbarro and got a slice of pizza (pepperoni, duh) and ate on that for a while til it was safely tucked away in my innards. i then made my way over to macys where i had my pimp-ass suit waiting for me. and glory, it was done! so i got them to wrap it up and i was off. i rode the bus to my house and hung out for a while with lex watching king of the hill and was hungry again. like for some reason i have been starving all damn day and no food has been able to satisfy me yet (insert satisfy me by the carbonas here). so i talked lex into walking over to gandalfos (we live like 2 blocks from the one in downtown provo) and i braved their reuben. it was actually pretty good. the marbled rye they used had caraway seeds in it so that kinda threw me off, but other than that it was pretty damn good. i don't remember it being as well made before. the corned beef they used was super tasty and it came as close to anything today to filling my voracious ass up. lex and i parted ways because i was headed back to school to watch a screening of modern times. man this is one of my new favs. i realy love this film. and i'm also in love with paulette goddard. i think very soon i want to work out some of the themes in this film with some of the themes in society of the spectacle, and some of deleuzes' ideas on lines of flight. chaplin is/was a genius. why hasn't anyone ever made me sit and watch this shit? i plan, very soon, on watching tons of chaplin. maybe all at once on a day or weekend when i have no commitments. at the screening (which is part of this dada class i'm taking) old man mike made popcorn and me and torben at most of it. yes, i was still hungry. i washed it down with a sunkist. i love sunkist. after the screening me and grabbo and torben chatted for a bit then i walked out to catch the bus. on the way home i decided to document my bus ride home. after watching modern times i was thinking about how important movement was to the film, not just the physical movement of the machines, but movement from place to place, movement from idea to idea, movement from poor to rich, homeless to indigence, movement from being human to being machine (or incorporation into machinery), the obvious theme of dynamism (cogs, labor struggles) and how we are supposed to interpret and adapt to change is completely subverted by chaplin throughout the film. the only times he is happy is when he's in jail or with "gamin" and at these points he's homeless and jobless (squatting doesn't count because you aren't paying for it, right?) and even in the "home" setting the house itself seems to reject chaplin, so he has to sleep in the woodshed to escape the risk of harm inflicted by the house, his adapting to this setting is very unorthodox, just like his form of adapting to work in a factory is a nervous breakdown. this is easy commentary, but i think it illustrates the underlying concept of movement by showing that expected types of adaptations aren't always productive and that certain elements within our structured environments need to be subverted in order to make them livable, which involve things like fleeing work or avoiding the happy home. so as i rode home on the bus i took out my camera and took pictures of passing cars and lights and people inside the bus. the photos themselves are meaningless until the idea of subverting our environment through different types of movement is considered. the photos don't make sense unless you pay attention to the movement documented. its hard to steady a camera on a bus. i loved seeing how the photos differed from what i experienced. the mechanical eye of the camera interprets motion much differently than my brain. lines turn into curves and curves blur across the screen making a mess of time and place. people are seen doing multiple actions or movements or expressions simultaneously. the bus driver smiles and frowns in the same second. a car, my hand and the giant left turn arrow are given equal footing though each inhabit separate spheres. i don't know if i actually subverted my environment, but the act of taking photos of the movement of lights and people and structures within the bus allowed me to experiment with the simultaneity of my surrounding space. after i got off the bus i walked over to maggots and i'm still friggin hungry.

south of the border

slow day. i didn't eat anything til about 12:30 today and i was dying by the time food actually entered the confines of my face. after math i went straight up to work because i was in a daze from finding out that i passed my math mid-term with a -c. go me. i've failed every math mid-term i've taken for the past like 5 years. after i got to work errin and i discussed getting lunch before going to see julian cardonas lecture today. errin had to run some errands and then go pick up vegor (her husband) then were were going to go to the cafeteria. so i, like most days, squandered my time looking at craigslist and the goner-board til she got back. we went over to the cafeteria and met up with tiffany and vegor and scott carrier walked over to say hello. liz b stopped and chatted for a sec too. we talked about music and books. igot the beef enchilada. they ran out of beans as soon as i stepped up to make my order so i had to eat an enchilada with rice. the enchilada itself wasn't so bad, but the rice sucked the rivets off a pair of levis. totally got screwed on that one. then we went to see julian cardona speak. man, what a photographer. he's been documenting the bullshit in cuidad juarez for years now. previous to today i've seen his photos a few different times in a book about juarez that charles bowden co wrote. scary stuff. the lecture was ok, but if you know anything about scott carrier, he's all over the place (in every sense of the word), and julian cardona is the mexican scott carrier. after the lecture i walked back up to the office and settled back in for a few more hours of intense...work. at or near 4:30 i decided to go catch the bus and as i walked past the surplus lot i took a few photos of my crime scene. and just like every other day it looks like an unaccounted for pile of scrap and salvage. way to go guys. i feel bad for the guy managing the lot because his superiors are dragging their feet on getting a fence or some sort of theft deterrent up (like an actual warehouse...or a no trespassing sign). after i caught the bus i met maggot at nicolitalia for an early dinner, consisting of a chicken pesto pizza and cannoli. i love their pesto. its a creamy pesto and i love it. the only drawback to eating this particular pizza is the enormous amounts of garlic he puts on. like i dig on garlic, but this ia a bit much. i usually have a stomach ache a few hours after eating this thing. like right now. i have a bellyache and i blame nicolitalia. after nicolitalia we went to y house so i could get the book on the plague and then we headed over to brett and hiro's house to drop off the flyers for the show and then headed on over to maggots to do "homework". so far i've red about 2 pages about the plague and i still think the brits are retards. for three hundred years the plague killed millions of people all over europe, and the brits thought that covering your mouth would do the trick. that, and praying. i'm down with praying, but this calls for a bit more action. after a while i called jasie and asked if she could cut my hair since i'm going to court tomorrow, and i don't want to look like every other inbred in the room. while i was getting my hair cut annalisa made chocolate milkshakes and gave me one. it was tasty, and drinkable. (one day i'll dedicate an entire post about the cultural food differences in the state of utah) and then i went back over to maggots. i have a cannoli with my name on it waiting to be inserted into the hole on the front side of my face. adios jotos.

el salvadoran

one of my favorite places to eat in provo is called el salvadoran. and they make salvadoran food. to me its a pupuseria, but their menu is pretty big. i'm just too scared to venture off the first page, but alot of the salvadorans who live in this area frequent the place and i'm sure they get bored eating only pupusas (as if). tonight i got 2 pastelieros (sp?) and one bean and cheese pupusa. the pasto-whatever was full of ground beef and potatoes and garlic and onions. very tasty. maggot got 2 bean and cheese pupusas and an order of platanos. the platanos came with refried beans and sour cream. i must admit, i stole most of the beans. they're probably the best beans i've come across in the entire state of utah. it was worth getting frowned at. after we left el salvadoran i ran by my house to grab my camera because earlier today i took photos of the clothes that rob left at my house that he was giving away. i don't understand rob all the time. he sometimes will just throw things away. perfectly good things like a hardly worn pair of levi's (actually there were like 3 pair). and a bunch of t-shirts. no way i'm letting that go to waste, i grabbed what i could and put them up on ebay. i've done this before. rob was going to throw way a very expensive phone that he didn't like and he gave it to me and i put it on ebay and made $100. i don't get it, but its extra cash for me, and i usually give him half of whatever i make off the sale. i'm pretty full still from the salvadoran so i doubt i'll eat again today, but it sure made up for the crap they try to pass for BBQ at school today. by the time i got to class after eating that hunk of crap i was seething. thank you central america.

stuff

so this isn't necessarily a food post, but i will tell you i almost pulled the smug little fucker that works the counter at the courte side grille over the counter and stomped his face in when i ordered my shitty overpriced pork sandwich for lunch today.
i will also tell you that the split reactions have a few upcoming shows:
MAGGOTS BIRTHDAY!
split reactions
alligators
ccqb
saturday march 1, 8:00PM
THE COMPOUND
(166S 100W PROVO)

RED LIGHT BOOKS SHOW
agape
the kidneys
split reactions
saturday march 8th
(300s 200w slut lake city)

UNNATURAL HELPERS/FALLOUTS
tuesday march 18th 8:00 pm
unnatural helpers
fallouts
the kidneys
split reactions
@ the compound
166s 100w provo

russian

i didn't have time to eat this morning. ok, i did, but i was too lazy to make anything. like i found myself siting on the couch looking at the tv that wasn't on wishing i had something to eat, but something that would kinda appear. didn't happen. i went to church and maggot met up with me. today in church we didnt learn anything. just alot of singing. after church we went to maggots and put on the venture brothers. maggot made some tortellini and some ravioli and it was good, but she made a lot and i couldn't finish mine. before that i had a leftover muffin from yesterday. blueberry muffins with crumb tops are boss. we then proceeded to watch the first and second seasons of the venture brothers. for the rest of the day. i should read up on the plague of 1665. who cares. the venture brothers is probably one of my fav shows ever and i'd much rather watch 6 hours of that than read a page about the london plague. i really can't concentrate on this right now because i'm still watching the venture brothers, but i did make a turkey and provolone and grey poupon, russian dressing, mayo, and dark rye sandwich. it was super good. venture brothers quote of the day:
brock: magenta? your battle mode is magenta?
the monarch: eat a dick
also
i found a band i'm kinda digging on called the ears from oakland:
http://www.myspace.com/losorejas

slut lake city

so i woke up today and i wanted blueberry muffins. i went to the store with maggot and got some. we made them and watched the venture brothers. we also got some cinnamon toast crunch. delicious. i had about one too many and was kinda feelin gross and stopped eating. about that time we went back over to my house for practice. and guess who came and practiced with us for the first time in a while? charley! it was great. i don't think she's going to play with us on the first, but we're all excited that she's practicing with us again. we tried to get rob to show off some of his latest drumming skills, but he got really shy and wouldn't do it. oh well. we practiced for about an hour and a half and charley left and me and maggot and rob goofed around for a while then we went back over to maggots to waste time until we were supposed to meet up with maggots friend boyd for dinner. we decided to go to las tarascas again for dinner. this time i got the gorditas with chicken. it was super good but the chicken was a bit too salty for my taste, but the goodness overpowered the salt so i was cool with it. boyd is a pretty shy kid. he's japanese american and he speaks albanian. he spent a couple of years in albania. he also said he used to listen to alot of screamo and started listing bands he liked. i didn't really catch any that i recognized. after we were done eating we dropped boyd off and raced to salt lake. i have road rage. even when i'm not driving. i hate drivers here nearly as much as anything else i can think of. heres a short list why:
no one knows merging techniques
no one knows left lane or passing lane etiquette
no one knows that you don't have to slow down at a bend in the road
no one knows that gawking causes traffic jams
no one ignores their cell phones while driving
no one knows how to keep traffic at a constant pace
i hate the billboards
that last one has nothing to do with drivers, but it bugs me regardless. once we got to salt lake we hit up the clarke planetarium to see the human body imax film. it was super good. they showed the inside of the heart and the lungs and fallopian tubes. they also showed actual food actually being digested, bile and all! it was so cool to see the intestines pushing stuff through. they also showed someone popping a zit. then after that we rolled over to no brow coffe and tea to grab a lil pick me up before the show. i'm not a big coffee drinker, it makes me crazy. i get all hyperactive and maggot laughs at me alot because i start talking quickly and can't keep a constant train of thought. after that we went to todds, which i guess we're all supposed to call broken record. we hung out there for w while and then watched an idhoan hip-hopper called dangermouth ( i know, i know) do his thang about girls stalking him and myspace and other stuff then maggots other band, the hotness, took the stage. lucky, their singer, is one of my favorite frontmen. his antics remind me of a 14 yr old kid goofing around with his amigos, what with the punching and piggy back riding of the keyboard player. after that we hung with all the dirty barfly hoes there and loaded out and left. i'm kinda hungry as i'm writing this, but i don't know if i'm more tired than hungry. i hate when i can't decide.

party time

so i skipped math altogether yesterday. i decided i needed to read for my british lit class. i hate british lit. especially this one because its from the restoration period and 18th century. i don't think a more boring group of people ever walked the earth than the brits at that time. way to go you guys, really good stuff. i want to kill myself when i read it. the high point in this class so far is gulliver's travels, and my prof keeps ruining it for me. the even higher point will be when i give a totally unprepared oral presentation on the great plague of 1665. even more boring. if the brits were so damn wonderful at writing why didn't they use those great brains to figure out what the hell was killing over 100,000 of them? idiots. so after that class i usually go eat but i wasn't hungry because i had eaten one of the english muffin things (they call them willy muffins. i haven't referred to them as that so far because i hate actually having to go along with calling it such a stupid name) so i just went to the computer lab and wasted time online. mostly at the goner records message board:
http://www.goner-records.com/board/index.php?
so after that i went to the dada class and listened to alex caldiero try to answer all the questions posed by my less than astute classmates. its usually pretty entertaining to say the least. so i had a math midterm i needed to study for and after class i went to the cafeteria to study, but i kept seeing people i knew so i really didn't get any studying done. oh well. so i wandered downstairs to the lower level and bought a slice of freschetta pizza. what a waste of money that is. like the cheese was tasty and so were the pepperonis and the sauce, but the crust on that pizza is like 3 inches thick. plus its about 3.50 a slice. WTF. come on. it only costs about 3.50 for the whole damn pizza at the store. i think i may help dave take up his crusade against the tyranny of the uvsc dining services. i can understand paying 3.50 if it was hand thrown dough, but this crap is pretty unacceptable.
so i went and took my midterm and i think i did ok. its always pretty relieving to see one of my classmates taking the test at the same time as me, you know, like a section solidarity. it feels even better when i start after them and finish before them. it just might mean that i'm getting better at wasting my time with numbers.
so when i finished maggot came to pick me up and we went back to las tarascas to get a good dose of 110%. maggot got some gorditas that were stupid good. i got some carne asada tacos with beans and rice. good lawd was they good. they have like this lime cilantro type salsa that was slaying me. so i mixed a little in with the beans and rice and put some on the tacos. i was in 110% heaven man. i think i ate so much that a rib broke. because my ass was full. so after that i went to the mall to get the alterations and to pay for my suit. so pimp. and then alicia showed up and we wandered around for a bit. alicia hates the mall. i think its kinda funny. so after that we went over to jasie and annalisa and jendar's place to hang out for a bit. i guess they were having dessert and game night. there was some mad dr.mario playing going on. and people brought some tasty desserts that i was too full to eat. lame. after a while i did feel empty enough to eat some doughnut holes. then i got a ride home with carrie and there was a chocolate lab puppy in the car. chocolate labs rule.

new stuff?

so yesterday i did my usual routine of waking up showering, going to math (i actually was there for about 10 minutes to take a quiz and leave) going to work. after i skipped out on math i went to the computer lab to finish up my homework so i could have 100% homework. and i did. i'm the wiz. then i went downstairs to get some food and i ran into dave, my roomate. for some reason he was lugging around a bass guitar. no case, just the guitar and the strap. i say lug, but he was waving that thing around all over the place and i saw a few people duck. he got pretty expressive with it while he was talking to me. i suggested we sit down and eat. he had a grilled cheese and i had sweet and sour pork and orange chicken from the wolverine wok. plus a cherry pepsi. don't get dave talking on the subject of uvsc dining services or you'll have to listen to what amounts to about a 3 credit hour class on shitty food and high prices. he's right. it does suck. but i don't really care. so after i went to work and was bored for 3 hours straight maggot came and got me and we wandered around the mall for a while. i looked at a suit that i might buy thats going to be on sale. i need a new suit and this one is pimp. black with little pinstripes. we picked up some jeans at the vans store that were like 20 bucks. in the past month i've bought 2 pairs of black jeans. i haven't really liked black jeans til now. go figure. so after that we wandered over to sees candy and they were passing out almond royales and maggot bought a couple of chocolates. one was a raspberry something. it was pretty good. after that we ;left and went to best buy. i['ve been eyeballing this one camera for a while. its a kodak z1208. i think. anyway i've been saving for a camera for a while and i bought it. yeah! new camera! i'll be posting pictures of food here when i get it all figured out. after that we needed to head back because we had practice. on the way we stopped at the little taco shop that opened up on state street in provo thats part of the tesoro gas station. its called taco riendo. oh man was it good. i got 2 tacos asada and maggot got 2 gorditas. so good. good good good. def a winner. they also have cold mexican coke in stock. after we finished up we went to maggots to get the venture brothers first season to watch after practice. then we practiced. we tried out a few new songs and i think we're going to try to play them at the next show. (march first, my house, with alligators and ccqb) after practice we watched a few episodes of the venture brothers and then got hungry and wandered over to las tarascas, but they were closed. lame. i wanted some 110%. so our second try was nicolitalia. me and maggot split a calzone with green peppers and pepperoni. maggot wasn't really all about it, she likes calzones with ricotta etc. i thought it ruled. after that we went back to my house and watched a few more venture bros then i went to bed.

money, honey

yesterday was a pretty busy day. sorry to all my loyal readers (google analytics says i have about 30 of you), but i was busy playing mathematician and trying to finish all my homework. plus i did some sleuthing and there's a few legal advisors on campus that help students with legal problems! now to the food portion of my day: at the cafeteria at school they had some cheesy potatoes that i ate, along with 2 chicken fingers dipped in BBQ sauce. the cheesy potatoes weren't bad and the chicken fingers were, well, just chicken fingers. after i slaved away at work for 3 hours (doing more math) i took the bus home to meet a guy at my house who was supposed to buy my amp. he called about 20 mins before he was supposed to be there and said he wasn't coming, but that he might come later that night. so i went to maggots to do some homework, and before i did anything i made myself a reuben. i ate it with wheat thins. very tasty. i also downed about half of maggots bottle of strawberry lemonade. i couldn't stop. it was so delicious. i got yelled at. so i did lots of math and talked to grabbo (http://grabblogger.blogspot.com/) for a bit and i guess he's blaming me for getting sick. not my fault. i wasn't even around when he got sick. so at about 8:30 i got a call from the guy who wanted to buy my amp, and he was on his way down and so i went to my house to meet him and he pretty much had his mind made up when he got there that he wanted it, and his friend who came with him (scott wiley from that old provo band sunfall festival) told him it was a good idea so he bought it. money for me!
here's a short list of the things i could possibly buy with the money:
a new camera
new speakers for my musicman 41065
a shit ton of records
3 classes this summer
court fees and whatever fines i might get for being a criminal
after i got a wad of cash in my pocket i went back over to maggots to do more math (its online and i don't have internet at my house) and i decided i was hungry and i made a turkey melt. cassie was hoveringas i was making it so i gae her the one i was making, then i made another one for me. i love turlkey melts. i didn't have and potato bread so i used the rye i usually used for reubens. it was still tasty. i don't know why i love grilled sandwiches so much.

great. i'm a criminal.

so today started out good, went to school got a ham and cheese english muffin, vitamin c naked juice, ate that, went to math turned some shit in, then went to do some homework. after i did that jesse picked me up and i went home and did more homework and then me and jesse and charley went to ikea so they could look around for some furniture for their new apartment. we found some stuff here and there and ikea ended up not having what they wanted. before we wandered around the store i had to get some ikea balls and mac and cheese. i'm kinda addicted to their mac and cheese. and ikea balls rule. so, before we went up to ikea i went in to the orem city court office to sign the promise to appear and i asked that the city prosecutor give me a call, i wantd to know what to expect so i could make an informed plea (i inadvertantly broke the law thinking uvsc was throwing things out when in actuality they were selling all that stuff they leave outside, and i got charged with theft.), and while we were at ikea the prosecutor called and gave me the news. i'm gonna get screwed if i plea guilty, and a no contest plea is basically a guilty plea and there are no abeyance pleas for theft. so i'm pleading not guilty. and i hope my court appointed lawyer isn't rick moranis. after ikea we went to jesses sisters house to grab a table and chairs and i got to meet their kid named luke. luke loves books about the weather. and books about dinosaurs. when luke grows up he wants to be a truck driver, and a weatherman on the weekends. i guess if you have an east to west route you could do a pretty good job of predicting whats going to happen, but if he does north/south, he's screwed. so after that we drove home and i worked on homework at maggots and she went to a study session and i got hungry and made some leftover jambalaya from a few days ago. it was better this time because it sat and all the flavors got to hang out and be friends. then they went into my bowels where they get to hang out more. mmm.

presidents day extravaganza

so i woke up and went to maggots at about 11:30 and she made some ravioli that we ate with some sour dough bread. it was really good. i was worried about eating pasta because the last time i ate pasta i hucked it up when i had a coughing fit during my latest bout of sick. good for me, i didn't puke everywhere this time and i have fully digested it. after we ate maggot played dragon warrior while i went back to my house and showered. i also loaded the drums from the show the other night back into the house because maggot was sick of them being in her car. i went back over to maggots house to start working on my poor neglected math homework and decided i was hungry again so i made another reuben. this one was better than the one i made the other night because i had the ingredients a little better balanced out and also because i grilled it in butter. i praise jesus for the man who came up with the reuben sandwich. may his eternal soul have mansions in heaven for the joy this sandwich has brought me. after i polished off the last crumbs of my grilled reuben i started working on math. i hate math. i can't wait to be done with my math classes. then i can graduate and be a man. and have a real job and be a "productive" member of society. whatever. the split reactions finally practiced after like 3 weeks of us being lazy, sick , or passing kidney stones. it was a pretty good practiced that devolved into me and maggot playing red rockets songs and rob looking confused and getting nervous thinking that he's in big trouble for not knowing any of these songs he's never heard before. i love when rob panics. almost as much as when rob gets excited about a song we've just written. he's easily the happiest drummer alive. after practice me and maggot were hungry so we decided to eat out. after me being indecisive for about 30 minutes while driving around provo, we settled on a little mexican restaurant on univ parkway called las tarascas. we really only ate there because they billed themselves as 110% authentic mexican food. easily the best chips and salsa i've had in a while, better than diegos. i got a huarache with carne asada and maggot got a couple of tostadas. the beans and rice were super good and my huarache was pretty damn tasty. maggot said that her tostadas tasted better the more she ate them. i think i've found a new little maxican craphole to eat at. the server kid was pretty nice and it was quiet and wasn't full of the usual sweet bro suspects looking for their totally radical burritos to go perfectly well with their true religion jeans, frosted tips, and puffy white skate shoes. i'm totally going back, dude. after that me and maggot rolled over to jesse and charleys new apartment. they got married last week and spent a week in san francisco. jesse is in the noise band with me and so we chatted a little about the show and then we talked about other records and stuff they got for their wedding and stuff like that. tomorrow we're going to go up to ikea and we're taking the rocket ship to help them load some stuff for their new little pad. its a cozy little place. after that maggot helped me finish my homework. good riddance of that crap.

i really did nothing but eat today.

well, i guess i was online for a sec too. maggot got mad at me for being online most of the day. but i did have an ok food day. i didn't really have breakfast and i woke up too late so i skipped church. i was feeling kinda sick still anyway. i felt like making jambalaya today so me and maggot went to the store and got all the stuff to make it. my way of making jambalaya isn't the most traditional way, but i love it and maggot loves it too. i knew that i'd get hungry waiting for the jambalaya to finish cooking so i bought stuff to make a reuben. and after i had the jambalaya on and going i made myself a reuben. delicious. after maggot and dave made us watch a bunch of you tube videos on primordial dwarves and people without faces we watched the japanese version of the ring. boring. the scariest part was knowing the hysterical woman who played the lead role was actually hired to play the lead role. she sucked. and her hysterics sucked too. the jambalaya was ready about halfway through and i had a big bowl of it. maggot thought i put too much meat in it. i thought it was fine. the movie finished without a bang and cassie made brownies. i personally think there is nothing better on the earth than a corner brownie and vanilla ice cream. my absolute favorite plebeian dessert ever. after we ate brownies cassie made us watch six degrees of separation where will smith plays a gay con-man who sucks at conning people and likes looking at other boys linuses. i was kinda bored because the movie was based on a play and you could tell. very over acted and the story could've been wrapped up in about 10 minutes, but just like dramatists, the cohen bros decided it was a great idea to stretch this one out into a feature length film. after the film maggot decided to play dragon warrior and i decided to waste time online. then i decided to have another bowl of jambalaya. what a great decision.

eureka!

so today was a pretty good food day. i started the day off with the german pancakes i mentioned earlier which were pretty good, then after watching hot rod me and maggot went to pete's lunch in provo (100s 200w) and we got bacon cheese burgers. pete's is easily my favorite place to eat in provo. his brekfast is my fav and his cheese burgers are so good. for breakfast i usually get chicken fried steak. best in the world. homemade. so after we left petes i took a shower and then loaded up the drums for turkish starwars. since we had a few hours to kill we went to the clarke planetarium in salt lake at the gateway (we got yearlong passes) we saw the in house film about black holes. black holes are a waste of space. what do they really accomplish? seriously. if einstein was right about black holes, i think we should have been able to make use of wormholes by now. our lazy ass scientists need to step it up and get a home version of a wormhole. can you imagine how easy it would be to get places? a wormhole to the store, to school, to memphis...to anywhere! bums. so while we were waiting for the black hole movie to start i had a 3 day old hot dog from the concession stand. it wasn't bad until the black hole movie started and the nerds who made the film decided it was a good idea to make the entire room spin, needless to say i got dizzy and wanted to puke. after the movie we wandered around the planetarium and then went over to no brow for the film event of the year. seriously, don't ever watch turkish star wars. i think people only stayed because we were making noises to the soundtrack. such a bad movie. the best part of the entire film was the training montage. i can't really describe it. you can find it on you tube. find your own link. my google broke. anyway, after that debacle me and maggot wanted to grab some food before we headed back to provo and we stopped in at the blue plate diner in sugarhouse. i noticed they had a reuben on the menu. now usually i don't even give the reuben in utah a chance, because so far every single reuben i've tried has sucked without question. not so this time. i mean i did have to put grey pupon on it, but man, it was good to finally eat a reuben that i didn't have to make. maggot got a veggie omelette with bacon and she said it was pretty good. i really dig that little cafe. and now i know where i can get a damn reuben without wanting to kill people. yay me.

the night out

after work and the puke fish sandwich i rode the bus home and decided to grab a LB of chocolate from see's candy and while i was waiting in line they gave everyone a piece of candy called a normandy, or normandie, i don't know how to spell it. it was pretty good. had walnuts in it. anyway, i got the chocolates then hopped back on the bus, while i was waiting for the bus i saw the cops hassling a hobo who was waiting for the bus too. i don't know what he did, but they were still hassling him as his bus came and went. i hate cops. dude missed his bus because they felt the need to lecture him on some rad idea called not being a bum. let him be a bum, he was probably minding his own business, and if was bugging people it was probably because he was drunk. so what. hobos drink. duh. if you can't handle being confronted by a drunk hobo, don't live in a city. asses. anyway, so i got home and changed into some duds that i knew would make maggot all giggly. it worked, she got all giggly. so we decided to go to thai chili gardens in orem and eat for our for real valentines day dinner out, (as opposed to shithouse BBQ which was just a pizza run) and it was pretty good. i got the mussaman curry which is my favorite. it was pretty tasty though it could have been a bit sweeter and a bit less salty. maggot got the pad thai which was super tasty. we also got egg rolls and coconut soup. i love coconut soup but this was too salty. there used to be a thai place on 500 west next to the villa bakery in provo that had the best coconut soup i've ever had. for some reason they disappeared, like most good mom and pop restaurants do in provo. i wish all coconut soups were as good as the coconut soup at this place. i'd eat it twice a day. but the soup at thai chili gardens didn't compare. they did, however, have really good sticky rice and mangoes. thats what we had for dessert we got it to go and dropped by FYE to get a movie. i found a copy of hidden fortress by kurosawa that we watched. i love that movie. toshiro mifune is probably the greatest actor to have ever graced the screen. i almost bought a double dvd set of yojimbo and sanjuro. i think i should have. maybe i'll do that when i get my tax returns. oh and i also saw like a 5 dvd john cassavetes collection on criterion that i was peeing my pants over. it was the ultra-cool criterion collection stuff so they jacked the price up about $75 more than they should have. asses. so we went and watched hidden fortress and then maggot broke out the candy i got her. i had a bite ofone and it was super chocolatey. not for me. i'm back over at their house right now and cassie and maggot are doing their saturday morning tradition of german pancakes and cartoons. maggot got mad when i told her i was over german pancakes. we're supposed to go to salt lake tonight because i'm playing a show with the noise band i'm in. every month my friend tyrone davies hosts an event at no brow coffee and tea called out/ex and he shows outsider and experimental films. tonight he is showing turkish star wars and our band, the noise band, will be improvising the soundtrack. so anyone within a few miles of salt lake should come check it out. i don't know the address for no brow. its across from the ywca in salt lake. starts at 8.

lint

i decided to observe lint, or something to do with lint by eating a fish sandwich they were serving at school. what a pile of crap that was. should not have done that. i wanna puke and take a nap all at the same time.

morning-ish part 2: evening-ish

so veronica lopez brought a bunch of cookies in to work and pawned them off onto us and i ate about 9 of them. i decided since i was getting better it was ok to eat a crap load of cookies. bad move. the bus ride home was miserable, only to be offset by the salty goodness of a handful of wheat thins i stole from maggot. maggot is addicted to dragon warrior. its a pretty great sick day nintendo game. she got pneumonia. sorry maggot.
so maggot and me decided to go ahead and venture out and eat someplace other than at home so we went to smokehouse BBQ on univ ave in provo. not my fav, but whatever. maggot likes their margherita. sometimes their bbq pizza is ok, but for the most part the food sucks. when billy first opened it i tried to tell him not to make his own sauce. he didn't listen to me. always listen to me when it comes to BBQ sauce. their sauce is like mostly sugar with some red food coloring in it. i'll take kraft BBQ sauce over the shit they try to pass for sauce at smokehouse. they've actually gotten better at making BBQ over the last few years, but it still doesn't compare to anything i can make at home. sorry suckers, you aren't getting a real southern BBQ experience at smokehouse, rather, a bland interpretation of someones imagination. and whats with the sauce on top crap? when we got our pizza all the sauce was above the cheese. sauce should go below cheese, otherwise you get cheese bread thats been pre dipped in marinara. lame. stop doing this. we also got garlic knots and chicken bites. the garlic knots were ok, but they were kinda bland and the chicken bites tasted like metal. i dont like metal chicken. i like chickeny chicken.

morning-ish

so i woke up late and didn't have time to make a sandwich for while i was at work. i guess i'll have to go down to the cafeteria and eat some of the shit they peddle. i'm pretty convinced uvsc has some of the worst food on earth, second only to macon elementary in memphis TN. has anyone ever had the bacon at uvsc? sucks. sausage? sucks. the only good thing to eat here regularly are the garden burgers with bacon (somehow it makes the bacon taste better). also the chinese food place is ok, and at teryaki stix the curry bowl is edible. i'm no snob by any means, but seriously. so before i went to math today i had a cranberry muffin, which sucked because i thought it was a blueberry muffin (oh i just remembered i like the english muffin sandiwch things they sell, those are pretty good if you can get a ham and cheese one) and a blue machine naked juice, which also sucked. this was probably the first time i had naked juice that tasted like some balls. it was kinda sour and bad. like balls. thankfully there was no hair because then it would have been balls.
saved! the er(r)in's at work are going to noodles and co and are getting me some chicken noodle soup! suck it dining services!

now, about tonight, its valentines day and me and maggot decided to wait til tomorrow to go out. we're both still pretty sick and combined with me hating most of the wait staff in utah county, plus the citizens of utah county always = me in a cranky mood. i think tonight i'll make that sandwich i was going to make for lunch.
its one of my favorites. its a turkey melt with provolone and peppered turkey with a bit of tomato on potato bread. one of my fav sandwiches ever.
my fav sandwich ever is a reuben. sadly every reuben i've tried in the state of utah sucks. go figure. unless i make it myself, but thats no fun.
i'm becoming more and more convinced that somehow during the nuclear testing that happened here oh so long ago affected the genetic structure of utahns taste buds so that if they ate a pile of crap it would taste fine.

i love food

and food loves me. i eat it as often as there is room in my little fat belly. i went to diegos tonight (300 north 50 something west in provo). got 2 shredded beef tacos. muy delicioso. i really love diegos. if i knew i wouldn't get the runs i'd eat there like 3 times a day. maybe four. its totally cheap and if you're really hungry they got huge burritos. my favorite is the california one i think. whichever one has the tater tots in it. earlier today i ate some potato soup that i made at maggots house last night. it was pretty good because it was 2 days old instead of one. since i'm still kinda sick, it made my little fat belly hurt so i called maggot and she brought me home. then i played the following games on nintendo until i was hungry again:
jaws
dragon warrior
alpha mission
supermario brothers 1
adventure island
dragon spirit:the newlegend
1942
it was at about this time i started getting hungry again, thus the trip to diegos.
i don't know if i'll be hungry again before i go to bed, but if i am, i'll post it tomorrow or whenever i write on this again. i'll most likely forget, so, sorry in adance.
i'll probably have to do math now or maggot will yell at me.