a culmination of sorts.

dunno why i'm posting this here. i guess its only people i like who read this and only them who probably care at all about whats going on with me. this post doesn't have so much to do with food as it does my shortcomings as an adult. it indirectly involves food i guess, since my financial state dictates my food choices. and here it is: i'm broke. like, really broke. i think i can look back over the last couple of years and see the downward spiral to the place i am now. i guess i kept thinking i could stave off financial responsibility until i got my degree. nope. doesn't happen that way. i've fucked myself financially and i have only myself to blame. i haven't finished college and i don't know if i ever will. i want to, but i don't know if i'll be able to afford it any time soon. i party waaay too much. my friends have all kinda slowed down, but for some reason i felt like it was a great idea to keep pushing myself. dumb. i think i knew this was coming for a while but was too scared to try to deal with it. i've kinda destroyed my body with partying and eating tons of bad food. don't know how to quite recover from it, because lets be honest, i'm good at making bad decisions. also, i'm the master of procrastinating important things that come back to haunt me. and haunt me they do. relentlessly. i ate too much shitty pizza today and i still feel sick. instead of dealing with my problems, my problems have dealt with me. now i have to abandon or sell things that are very important to me and i don't want to. thanks for reading. thanks for being my friend. thanks for the recommendations and taking recommendations. wish me luck