combo!

so i woke up late, no thanks to william willett, and i roped maggot into taking me to school by bribing her with Einsteins bagels, but we took too long at Einsteins so i missed math. i've really sucked about going to math lately. i went to the computer lab and fooled around then went to the cafeteria and got a salad. yup. i put lettuce and spinach and hard boiled egg, and chicken chunks and kidney beans, and cheese and ranch dressing. missing math all came back to me as i walked down the hall after the dada class and i ran into my little phillipina math teacher and she had to give me crap about missing class but i redirected the conversation towards something i had been reading about. longanisa. its a phillipino sausage thats supposed to be sweet. she told me where to find it and how to cook it, then told me she was going to make me cook it at her house when i learned how. i'm kinda scared of her. after that i went to work. errin was in a meeting the whole time so i was pretty bored. maggot came to pick me up and we went to las tarascas. i got the carne asada burrito and it was pretty damn good. i ate too much which sucked because me and maggot were supposed to go play tennis. yup. tennis. we actually ended up playing a few hours later after letting the food digest. we both sucked. after we played tennis we sat around for a while then went to smiths and i found some rad mexican confection that i knew jesse would dig on. when we got back to maggots i decided to experiment. i made a turkey reuben. i don't usually condone this type of thing but it turned out so very good. i usually don't put mayo on my reuben but i kinda mixed the turkey melt with the reuben so necessity dictated i put mayo on it. it turned out great. maggot got upset because i wasn't talking to her when i was eating it. i really couldn't talk because it was that good. we then watched more venture brothers. i was going to try to eat some dessert, but i'm too full. i'll do that in the morning.

emiliano to the max

i'm kind of a day late on posting, as yesterday was one of the busier days i've had in a while. it started out by me and maggot going back down to the jail in spanish fork to be fingerprinted etc. i only had to wait like 10 minutes. i was the only person there, probably because criminal don't wake up as early as me. i got the pat down and then i got the photo (turn to your right) then i did the finger prints. utah county has a fancy digital fingerprinter thing. you just put your fingers and thumbs on the screen and they scan it. pretty cool. after that was all over with i had to go drop the paperwork off at the 4th district court in orem. they weren't open so i had to put it in their drop box. and before you drop it in, you have to do the time date stamp. boy, was that a pain in my ass. the time stamp slot was like not even an 1/8th inch thick. so i had to like get down on my knees and jimmy the damn thing in and then it didn't do anything. so i took it out and put it back in thinking that by shoving it in and out i would like trigger the stamp. turns out thats not how it works. you have to leave it in till the next automatic stamp. hopefully after all that hard work they get it. after we did that we got some smiths fresh values gas and then went to maggots for breakfast. it was maggots birthday yesterday (march 1) and so cassie made the german pancakes but instead of watching cartoons i was forced to watch the worst television show ever produced: shelley duvalls fairy tale theater. what the hell. who let this happen? like there was some point in time where someone actually said, "oh, hey, this one is a winner. really good stuff you guys". not to mention shelley duvall is ugly as sin (bless her heart), she looks like a beaver had its way with a skeleton. like the premise of the show is to find hollywood actors in need of a check and completely debase and under use their talents. for some reason maggot and cassie love it. like, genuinely. its times like these i question their taste. maggots addiction to bollywood is another. after suffering through two of these episodes maggot and i decided to go take some photos. we drove around til we found a dump and took lots of pictures of trash. it was a good time and then when dustbowl 2008 hit provo we left. we were getting kinda hungry too.
DISCLAIMER:ok. i must warn you. the next few sentences will change your life.
maggot and i, after some amount of discussion, decided to go to joe vera's fiestaurant for her birthday lunch. i'm not the biggest fan of that place, but it was maggots birthday so we went. after perusing the menu for a while, i found the american food section. don't get me wrong, i really dig me some mexican food (las tarascas) but joe veras wasn't really my fav. until now. i ordered the zapata burger. people of earth, heed my words: the zapata burger at joe veras fiestaurant is one of, if not the tastiest burgers i have ever had the privilege to consume. sweet jesus i was in heaven. like every bite was better than the last. and even after i was done it kept tasting better. the only 2 burgers who are near in comparison are 1).shirley's cheeseburger at the lamplighter in memphis and 2).the one the old lady at jacks rib shack in memphis used to make before she quit. i have a feeling this cheeseburger will be a very common item on my dinner palate. maybe even lunch and breakfast too. and just like emiliano zapata is one of mexicos greatest heroes, this burger is one of mine. after engorging ourselves with too much food again, we went back to maggots and kinda just fell asleep. after a good 2 hour nap we woke up and went back over to my house for the party/show. we told everyone to be there at like 7:30. and of course no one really showed up til 8. perfect. karl and kahea's band played first. it was dancy and had beats mixed with metal and it was all done by laptop. it was pretty fun. next came ccqb. they pulled off a pretty good set too. i think this was like their 3rd or 4th show and they're getting tighter. everyone was into it. after they finished we (the split reactions) played. i thought we did great but maggot and rob thought we sucked. whatever. i had fun and the people in the crowd appeared to have fun so its cool with me. we're playing on friday with cass railroad or something, then again saturday in salt lake with agape and the kidneys at red light books (300s 200e) if anyone is interested. then the alligators played. those guys have gotten so good in the last few months, like they have a real handle on their sound. and this show was so much fun because of it. all the bands that played were great and the crowd was great and everyone stayed (which is like the first time thats ever happened i think). after the show maggot destroyed the pinata cassie and dave got. and a few people scrambled to grab the candy, but mostly its still sitting on the ground outside my house. next to the big pile of trash no one seems to want to move. at that point most everyone left and we all hung out till the only people left were me maggot lex and austin. after chatting and goofing off for about an hour we decided to get some pizzas and watch the venture brothers. it was at that point i fell asleep. viva zapata(burger).

the great plague

so i did it. i finally read about the great plague of 1665. and i gave my presentation and it was good. i don't think the kids in my class were any more bored than usual, so i counted it as a success. the coolest thing about this presentation was the color image of y.pestis i printed out. i think i'm going to use that image again sometime for a flyer or something. i skipped math again today because our crazy phillipina teacher was out of town and she had a sub come in. who does that? subs blow. i ended up going to the computer lab and researched more on the plague. i even had transparencies for my presentation. maggot called me an underachiever because i didn't read every single book and article ever written about anything having anything to do with the plague. after the brit lit class i rolled on over to the cafeteria to see what dining services had whipped up. i got the chicken cordon bleu and cheesy potatoes and a roll. its a thing of wonder how dining services can dry out a piece of chicken. it didn't taste bad, but i had to drink about a gallon of water to reconstitute it. they even managed to dry out cheesy potatoes. may the lord have mercy on them. after lunch i went to class and was super tired, probably because my body expended so much energy trying to digest dehydrated food. we talked more in the dada class about chance operations and john cage. in my opinion john cage is probably second only to duchamp in developing some of the coolest ways of approaching the act of making art. one of cages ideas that i love most is when he says that art isn't made in merely capturing nature, but in capturing the function of nature. i totally paraphrased that, so don't get all correcty on me. on our way to work, grabbo and i realized that once you cross the threshold of the GT building your i.q. seems to drop exponentially and you start talking like a backwoods retard. all we seemed to want to do on the first floor in that building was fix stuff. i don't get it. and once you pass the music department and into the service elevator things go back to normal. after work i had to run home and grab my small 'zine collection because me and vegor and brendan from the dada class were meeting to discuss the class 'zine. i'm really excited for this, not because i'm excited to see what my peers will turn in, rather i'm excited to see how much i can enrage my peers for destroying their carefully constructed "dada" work. i dont think they have any clue whats going to happen to their precious projects they worked so hard on getting "right". and since i doubt very few, if any will read this, its still going to be a big ol surprise. after we were done with our meeting vegor gave brendan and i a little truffle. i snagged an extra one for maggot because its still margrukkah (the week leading up to maggots b-day). maggot picked me up from the meeting and we went to las tarascas. i think this is the last time we'll go for a while, because i've been like 4 times in like 2 weeks and i don't want to burn out. i got gorditas again, but this time i got them with carne asada. score. next time i'm gonna try something new. and their beans give el salvadoran a run for their money. we thought we might go see a movie tonight, but hollywood sucks and i can't justify paying money simply for kitsch value. so we just went to her house and sat around. i know, i lead the most exciting life possible.

slut lake city

so i woke up today and i wanted blueberry muffins. i went to the store with maggot and got some. we made them and watched the venture brothers. we also got some cinnamon toast crunch. delicious. i had about one too many and was kinda feelin gross and stopped eating. about that time we went back over to my house for practice. and guess who came and practiced with us for the first time in a while? charley! it was great. i don't think she's going to play with us on the first, but we're all excited that she's practicing with us again. we tried to get rob to show off some of his latest drumming skills, but he got really shy and wouldn't do it. oh well. we practiced for about an hour and a half and charley left and me and maggot and rob goofed around for a while then we went back over to maggots to waste time until we were supposed to meet up with maggots friend boyd for dinner. we decided to go to las tarascas again for dinner. this time i got the gorditas with chicken. it was super good but the chicken was a bit too salty for my taste, but the goodness overpowered the salt so i was cool with it. boyd is a pretty shy kid. he's japanese american and he speaks albanian. he spent a couple of years in albania. he also said he used to listen to alot of screamo and started listing bands he liked. i didn't really catch any that i recognized. after we were done eating we dropped boyd off and raced to salt lake. i have road rage. even when i'm not driving. i hate drivers here nearly as much as anything else i can think of. heres a short list why:
no one knows merging techniques
no one knows left lane or passing lane etiquette
no one knows that you don't have to slow down at a bend in the road
no one knows that gawking causes traffic jams
no one ignores their cell phones while driving
no one knows how to keep traffic at a constant pace
i hate the billboards
that last one has nothing to do with drivers, but it bugs me regardless. once we got to salt lake we hit up the clarke planetarium to see the human body imax film. it was super good. they showed the inside of the heart and the lungs and fallopian tubes. they also showed actual food actually being digested, bile and all! it was so cool to see the intestines pushing stuff through. they also showed someone popping a zit. then after that we rolled over to no brow coffe and tea to grab a lil pick me up before the show. i'm not a big coffee drinker, it makes me crazy. i get all hyperactive and maggot laughs at me alot because i start talking quickly and can't keep a constant train of thought. after that we went to todds, which i guess we're all supposed to call broken record. we hung out there for w while and then watched an idhoan hip-hopper called dangermouth ( i know, i know) do his thang about girls stalking him and myspace and other stuff then maggots other band, the hotness, took the stage. lucky, their singer, is one of my favorite frontmen. his antics remind me of a 14 yr old kid goofing around with his amigos, what with the punching and piggy back riding of the keyboard player. after that we hung with all the dirty barfly hoes there and loaded out and left. i'm kinda hungry as i'm writing this, but i don't know if i'm more tired than hungry. i hate when i can't decide.

party time

so i skipped math altogether yesterday. i decided i needed to read for my british lit class. i hate british lit. especially this one because its from the restoration period and 18th century. i don't think a more boring group of people ever walked the earth than the brits at that time. way to go you guys, really good stuff. i want to kill myself when i read it. the high point in this class so far is gulliver's travels, and my prof keeps ruining it for me. the even higher point will be when i give a totally unprepared oral presentation on the great plague of 1665. even more boring. if the brits were so damn wonderful at writing why didn't they use those great brains to figure out what the hell was killing over 100,000 of them? idiots. so after that class i usually go eat but i wasn't hungry because i had eaten one of the english muffin things (they call them willy muffins. i haven't referred to them as that so far because i hate actually having to go along with calling it such a stupid name) so i just went to the computer lab and wasted time online. mostly at the goner records message board:
http://www.goner-records.com/board/index.php?
so after that i went to the dada class and listened to alex caldiero try to answer all the questions posed by my less than astute classmates. its usually pretty entertaining to say the least. so i had a math midterm i needed to study for and after class i went to the cafeteria to study, but i kept seeing people i knew so i really didn't get any studying done. oh well. so i wandered downstairs to the lower level and bought a slice of freschetta pizza. what a waste of money that is. like the cheese was tasty and so were the pepperonis and the sauce, but the crust on that pizza is like 3 inches thick. plus its about 3.50 a slice. WTF. come on. it only costs about 3.50 for the whole damn pizza at the store. i think i may help dave take up his crusade against the tyranny of the uvsc dining services. i can understand paying 3.50 if it was hand thrown dough, but this crap is pretty unacceptable.
so i went and took my midterm and i think i did ok. its always pretty relieving to see one of my classmates taking the test at the same time as me, you know, like a section solidarity. it feels even better when i start after them and finish before them. it just might mean that i'm getting better at wasting my time with numbers.
so when i finished maggot came to pick me up and we went back to las tarascas to get a good dose of 110%. maggot got some gorditas that were stupid good. i got some carne asada tacos with beans and rice. good lawd was they good. they have like this lime cilantro type salsa that was slaying me. so i mixed a little in with the beans and rice and put some on the tacos. i was in 110% heaven man. i think i ate so much that a rib broke. because my ass was full. so after that i went to the mall to get the alterations and to pay for my suit. so pimp. and then alicia showed up and we wandered around for a bit. alicia hates the mall. i think its kinda funny. so after that we went over to jasie and annalisa and jendar's place to hang out for a bit. i guess they were having dessert and game night. there was some mad dr.mario playing going on. and people brought some tasty desserts that i was too full to eat. lame. after a while i did feel empty enough to eat some doughnut holes. then i got a ride home with carrie and there was a chocolate lab puppy in the car. chocolate labs rule.